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-- should I be worried? (https://www.jusunlee.com/forums/showthread.php?threadid=13653)

Posted by Ladi Jay on 08-24-2003 05:48 PM:

should I be worried?

I met this guy and we've been seeing each other ever since mid July (so it's been more than a month). About two days ago, he got a call from his ex. He went and met up with her and now he's giving her shelter and helping her out because she needs help. He keeps telling me that it doesn't change any of his feelings for me and that hopefully, it doesn't change any of my feelings. He also says that he does NOT have any more feelings for her and that I have nothing to worry about. The thing is, he keeps repeating that to me as well as himself. I'm just afraid that he's denying the fact that maybe he still does. Should I be worried about things happening between those two again? They dated for two months and they broke up just before him and I started getting serious.

Posted by PsychoSnowman on 08-24-2003 06:03 PM:

regardless, you cannot change his mind even if he does have other feelings for her.

If he says he does not, then that is all you can go by. anything you say will not be able to stop his liking of his ex. Do not get paranoid, and do not let something like your paranoia come in the middle of your relationship that would make his ex seem more enticing than you. But, there is nothing wrong with voicing your concerns to him. Tell him.

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Posted by KeN VeRsUs RyU on 08-24-2003 08:06 PM:

if my ex's needed help.. or anyone i knew for that matter... i would help as much as i can.. despite what my gf says.

dont be the jealous gf. cuz that's not very attractive.

i'd say just trust him. be all you ca be as a good gf. if he does happen to have feelings for her... then at least you tried your best as far as that relationship goes. theres really nothing you can really do except being the overprotective gf... and like i said.. that's really ugly

but im kinda skeptical tho... cuz you two started getting serious right after he broke up with her? um... do i have to hit you over the head with this clue? hopefully not.

*WACK!~*

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Posted by FlavaFLOSS on 08-31-2003 09:47 AM:

Post edited.

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Posted by neXt on 09-01-2003 07:36 AM:

good post by flavafloss! i agree with her

Posted by psyTeK ver. 2.0 on 09-02-2003 12:33 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by FlavaFLOSS
If you will, think about it. If he does NOT have any more feelings for her, why is he giving her shelter? Taking in another person is a big responsibility. You don't just do it out of pity.


no, face the facts. just because you don't have loving feelings for a person in the context of a relationship or dating, does that mean you will deny a person help when he/she needs it? you failed to mention compassion, kindness, or even simply humanity as reason enough to take care of someone in need.
if my ex-girlfriend showed up on my steps asking for help, i would give it instantaneously, regardless if i had a gf or not. is it because i have feelings for her? no, that wouldn't be the case with me personally. it would rather be because she's someone who deserves help; i know enough about her to know that our failed relationship does not change for a second the fact that she is still a good person with a good heart.

you don't have to be einstein to know that taking in another person is a big responsibility. but it's a bigger responsibility to bear the burden of guilt and regret, to deny help to someone who you know deserves it. not because you love him/her still after the relationship has passed, but because you shared a connection with that person at a earlier point in your life to know he/she deserves the help he/she needs.

you don't just do it out of pity. you do it because you know you have to. it's called being a decent human being, so look up the definition of one next time you post.

p.s. - it's not smart to say at the beginning of your post "it's really okay to feel suspicious or jealous" and then to end your post with something like "only trust and honesty will help you". really, it just isn't.

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Posted by MasWusHot on 09-02-2003 01:38 AM:

i think it depends on how u feel about him if u worry or not .. u kno ? like .. if hes been a realli relaiable guy and truthful and honest to u then u should believe him when he says this, i dont think he would jus lie .. but if u kno of nething in the past or if hes lied to u before then mayb u should worry a little .. cuz yah he could jus tbe doin it cuz he feels bad and some people are jus really thoughtful and caring and no matter who it is, their gonna help em out .. and some people r players lol .. i guess it depends on what kid of guy u think he is

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Posted by kiggaplease on 09-02-2003 09:01 AM:

oh, boy, here's another round of face the facts
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