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Jusunlee.com Forums > Entertainment > Creative Writing > Late regrets....(inspired by the song by bobo)
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bUhrI_sAuCe47
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Registered: Jan 2003
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Talking Late regrets....(inspired by the song by bobo)

This is a little short story...a prose...hope you enjoy it~ leave comments and advice...thanks~~~
CH 1
The cold rain falling down hard to Min soo's skin. Icy drops of water hitting him everywhere. He thinks, "I can't hide from it no more. Even my tears are rolling down with the rain. Can life get anymore harder for me? " As Min soo sees a dark figure slowly disappear from his view.
Min Soo wakes from his dream and says in a panting voice, "No. This is not happening to me again." He threw his blankets all over the place and ran to the bathroom. He turns the gold sink handles for cold water. He quickly splashes himself to wake him up. "It's another day. forget it. Forget about her." He runs back to the side of his bed and prays. "Dear God, life is hard as it is. I know i made a mistake, but lord help me to cope with this pain..."
Min Soo rushes to his classroom and sees an emtpy seat next to him. He lets out a big sigh. During the class time, he seemed to be drifting into his sleep more and more while the teacher was talking about American history. {Min Soo's dream} "I love you. You know I won't stop loving you." Min Soo sees himself answer to a blur, "No. You can't leave me." Min Soo starts to scream..."NOOOOOOOO~" The history teacher hovering over him taps him. "Mr. Kim, what do you think you're doing? Why are you screaming NO to this young lady?" Min Soo wipes his drool off and replies, "what?!?! Who?" The young girl moves to the teacher's side and greets him. "Hi. My name is So Young." Min Soo froze up and said, "Hi. Sorry for the screaming. My name is Min Soo." The whole class room went , "OoOoo~ " The etacher went back to the front to calm the class down. Some wise guys were whistling a her. "Dayam~ She's fine~" Min Soo stood up and walked over to them and said, "Stop it~ Don't look at her like that~" He returned to his seat next to her and she whispered, "Thanks min soo."
Min Soo was confused with the feelings of the past and now with So Young. He couldn't help the feelings brewing inside of him. After class, he ran off to his room. Confused and scared to utter a word. He sat quietly at his chair, flipping through the photo albums. "What is it about her? Why can't I stop thinking about her?"

AnY suggestions?

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Old Post 01-21-2003 01:25 AM
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TyGer STyLe
no longer a couch jockey

Registered: Aug 2002
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HmMm... it could use some work... but its a great start... im not into prose... so i couldn't give any good feed back but... it gots plenty of good stuff to work with!

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Old Post 01-22-2003 06:58 AM
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iTsmeehLita
lita lita

Registered: Nov 2002
Location: So. CaL
Posts: 1109
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yea i agree with tyger style ... theres alot of stuff to work with ... but you gotta try to make everything flow more ....

describing the scenery ... or the characters or motions isn't bad ... you can do it ... it helps the reader to become more involved ... dialouge is good .. but to fully get it .. we need to understand the characters more ...

i think thats the advice i gave to someone else too??

mebbe you can check that out too .. .

good luck

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Old Post 01-22-2003 11:15 PM
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bUhrI_sAuCe47
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Registered: Jan 2003
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thanks for the suggestions...now I know what to do...maybe I'll improve as I write it...thanks~

CH 2
Min Soo picks up his cell. "Hello?" "Min Soo? What are you doing??" Min Soo just putting away his album answered, "Nothing really, Tae Sung . Why do you ask?" "Oh. Can you meet me at my dorm room? We having a party." "Sure. I'll be there in 5 minutes." After he hung up the cell, he grabbed his button down shirt and headed down to the dorm room.
As Min Soo was walking he bumed into someone and looked back to help. "I'm sorry. Is there anything I can help with?" He looked up slowly and it was So Young. She gently picked up the books while Min Soo just stared at her. She replied in a soft voice, "Oh no. It's okay. Just watch out next time. You can get hurt you know." Min Soo laughed a little and asked, "Umm..what are you doing now?" So young said, "I was about to study right now. Mr. Lee is a hard teacher you know." Min Soo could only laugh. "Well, I was about to..." A scream down the hall interupted them. "MIN SOO~!!! What are you doing?!? Thas not my room." In Sung saw So Young and ran over there. "Hi. I'm Tae Sung. Wow~ I never knew Min Soo had the guts to talk to a girl after.." Min Soo elbowed him in his side. So Young asked, "after what?" Min Soo just bluted out, "Oh. Sorry So Young for running into your study time...sorry~ See you in class."
Tae Sung kept looking back as So Young was puttng the key into her room. "Dayam~ She got an ass for a girl." Min Soo's protective side took over again and yelled at Tae Sung. "WTF?!!? Why are you staring at her ass for?!? It's beauty...NOT booty~" Tae Sung zipped his mouth and try to not to look back without getting caught by Min Soo.
While at his friend's house, Min Soo was chuggin down beer bottles as water. Tae Sung tried to stop him, but he saw the tears coming down after every sip. Tae Sung called his party off and asked, "Min Soo, whas bothering you mang?" Min Soo wiping the tears off said, "Nothing. " Tae Sung gave him a look he always used to give when Min Soo never said anything. "C'mon~ I'm the only true friend you have here. Is it that girl?" Min Soo quivered and said, "I don't know. It's something making me real dap dap hae~" Tae Sung snapped his finger and said, "how about a..so kye ting?" Min Soo asked, "so kye ting? With who?" Tae Sung pointed out to a girl with hair up to her face and pretty smile that light the room. Min Soo couldn't see too well and said, "Whatever mang. " As the girl got closer to Min Soo, he said, "Tae Sung, I don't think I can do it tho." Tae Sung introduced them together and said, "Oh. Her name is Young Joo." Min Soo froze and whispered, "Thas my ex-gf!!!"

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Old Post 01-23-2003 03:59 PM
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i0o4_x
Junior Member

Registered: Nov 2002
Location: Florida
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uh oh~ im his ex now?? haha..dis is gettin interesting~ cant wait to read more...write more unni ^_^

..youngjoo..

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Old Post 01-23-2003 04:03 PM
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bUhrI_sAuCe47
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You guys..in CH 2..I meant to put TAE SUNG instead of IN SUNG..I guess I missed one..oops~

CH 3
Young Joo drunkly said, "Min Soo? Is that you? I thought you died after our break-up." Min Soo glared at Tae Sung and said, "I guess not! Look, I got to go. Nice meeting you again." Young Joo just waved and said, "yeah me too." MIn Soo huffed his way to his room. "I can't believe him. I thought he knew who it was." Min Soo about to turn the corner saw So Young coming out of the room. Min Soo watched her every move and waited until she turned his way. So Young said, "I know you're there. What are you doing you in the hallway?" Min Soo startled said, "Who are you talking to? I was just passing by here." So Young giggled and said, "Do you want to go get some coffee with me?" Min Soo dropped his keys to his room and said, "Umm...aren't you studying though?" So Young replied, "Yeah. But I need a break too. I'll buy it. "
Min Soo walking down the street with So Young was something he never thought would happen. Min Soo picked the cafe since he works there. So Young sat down at the coffee table near the counter. She said, "You work here?! WOW..I love this place." Min Soo had the need to impress her so he jumped over the counter, but missed and fell to the ground. So Young laughed out loud and looked over. "Are you okay?" Min Soo blushed and said, "yeah. What would you like?" So Young asking, "Something that is sweet.." Min Soo added, "Like you?" So Young stopped and looked up. She continued, "and something that will make me stay awake." Min Soo stood up with his hands on his chin. "hmm...something sweet and something that will wake you up?" Min Soo said, "Close your eyes. Actually...go to sleep." So Young felt awkward and said, "umm..okay. Wake me up when the drink is done." Min Soo waited until she looked like she was in a deep sleep. He took a tall cup and filled it with some coffee and whip cream. He topped it off with stars and moons. Min Soo tapped her shoulder and said, "Drink it~" So Young analyze every inch of the drink and said, "No drugs, right?" Min Soo chuckled and said, "You don't know HOW long I put into this.." So Young sipped and said, "Wow~ I like it..it has some...fruit and some other taste. I think I used to drink this a long time ago when I was a kid." Min Soo whispered, "It's a secret!"
Young Joo was passing by and saw Min Soo and another girl. Her gf instincts brew inside of her. She walked into the store like she owned the place. Min Soo yelled, "We're closed ma'am!" He looked and saw Young Joo pointing a finger at him. He asked, "What do you want now?" Young Joo without thinking said, "How could you cheat on me!? I'm your gf~" So Young's face expression changed and asked, "Thas your gf?!?" Min Soo smiled for So Young and said, "NO~! We broke up a long time ago. She's just drunk." Young Joo kept laughing and coming closer to him. "I know you still like me. I can see it. The same fire in your eyes when we..." Young Joo just fell to the ground and laughed hysterically. So Young was confused and said, "Maybe I should leave now." Min Soo replied, "No. Don't worry. I'm sorry." So Young about to leave the store, but Min Soo grabbed her hand. "I'm sorry for tonight." So Young stepped back and said, "It's okay. Good night. Here, call me." MIn Soo stared at the number and smilied. She smilied back and left the store.
Young Joo was still on the floor. She mumbled, "You such a naughty boy, Min Soo. Why are you wasting your time on her? She's not your type. I'm your type." Min Soo held her up, but Young Joo kept trying to pull a move on him. Min Soo said, "I'M NOT YOUR BF anymore. I LIKE SOMEONE ELSE~"

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Old Post 01-24-2003 01:37 AM
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bUhrI_sAuCe47
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Ch 4

MIn Soo staring at the number on the cafe napkin. "She writes real pretty." He wrote in his little black journal. "So Young..." And the telephone number. HIs cell phone lit up again. He looked over at the number. His smilied faded . "Hello? Tae Sung?" "Sorry min soo. I didn;t know. Maybe I was a little drunk too." "So whassup?" "Want to go to a night?" "Right now?!?" "Well, what time do you think all the fine girls go?!? " MIn Soo and Tae Sung laugh and said, "Sure. I'll be there."
MIn Soo got ready with cologne and took his BMW ride. He parked his ride in the side and waited for Tae SUng. He was lost in a crowd but Min Soo saw his hands waving. As TAe Sung and Min Soo got in there, they first hit the dance floor. The music pumping with bass and the girls booty dancing while the guys were behind them. Tae Sung yelled over the music, "Thas more like it~" Min Soo was too busy dancing with this girl with layered hair and dyed blonde streaks. Tae Sung was dancing when someone bumped into him. He pushed the person back. The boy gave brushed his clothes off and started to break dance. Min Soo screamed, "He's challenging you, Tae SUng! " Tae Sung waited until he finished. The boy moved out of the way for him. Tae Sung started to bust out with some crazy moves, but the boy interupted and said, "That ain't nothing. Look at this." Tae Sung moved quickly so he wouldn't get kicked in the head. A whole group of people started to block off every exit and formed a circle. Min Soo in Tae SUng's corner, cheered him on. The boy had this tall girl with a hat covering her eyes. Min Soo couldn't help but thought it was Young Joo. The little boy started to booty dance with the girl in his corner. Tae Sung shook hands with him and said, "Sh..t son! Tae Sung. You?" The boy said, "Ji Yong. Just call me G-dragon."
MIn Soo went over to start dancing with the girl in his corner, but she took her hat off and let her hair wild. He kept trying to look in front, but the lights kept moving. Until Ji yong pulled her and said, "Let's go boo." She just kept dancing with Min Soo. Until Ji Yoon yelled, "JOOLEE~" MIn Soo backed off and went straight to the bar. As he was walking towards the bar, he saw ji yong and her dancing real dirty and close. He also saw some tongue slipping in each other's mouth. He felt his phone vibrate and saw So Young's number. He head to the exit where ji yong and young joo was blocking his only way out. He still felt the vibration and the pink light light up for her name.

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Old Post 01-27-2003 12:04 AM
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saranghae
Moderator

Registered: May 2002
Location: cali
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yay!~ finally there's more fanfics that are being posted ^^

G-dragon! wOo!

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Old Post 01-27-2003 01:17 AM
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i0o4_x
Junior Member

Registered: Nov 2002
Location: Florida
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hi unni ^_^ aish...ur making me sound soo slutty-ish its all good tho cuz im wit my gdragon keep writing moree!!!

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Old Post 01-27-2003 06:07 PM
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bUhrI_sAuCe47
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CH 5
Min Soo struggled his way out to the parking lot. He could still feel the phone vibrate with pink lighting. He pulled out his atenna up. First, he cleared his throat and lifted the top of his cellphone. Before he could say hello, the call had ended. He yelled, "Dayam~! I missed it~!" He called Tae Sung, but he couldn't hear over the music. "Sorry I wasn't here to pick up you phone call, but just leave your name, sex, age, location, eye color, height...." MIn Soo left a short message saying, "Hey Tae Sung! I'm going to be heading home right now..have fun and get home before curfew..okay? I'm 22, Male, light brown eyes...haha~ bye!"
While Min Soo was crossing the street, he whizzed by a girl who kept her head down to her cellphone and seemed like she was waiting for a call. He tried dialing the number from his napkin, but he must have spilt some of his drink by accident. So he asked the girl walking with her cellphone, "Can you read this for me?" As the girl turned, her hair swayed with the scent of her perfume in the air. MIn Soo took a big whiff as she was turning her head towards him. The young girl asked, "Min soo?!" Min Soo puzzled asked, "Yes? Who are you?" The dim street lights really didn't show her facial features, so she stepped more closer to him. "So Young?? I'm sorry I missed your call. It was noisy in there and some people were blocking my way." So Young smiling and facing down. Min Soo asked, "So, what were you doing here?" She replied, "I was just wanted to look at the stars. You?" I was about to call you since I missed your call. Do you want to go to the park?" So Young quickly said, "Okay."
As they were walking, they kept bumping into each other. MIn Soo and So Young parted a little and said, "I'm sorry," at the same time. He saw So Young cup her hands together and blow hot air into them. He asked, "Are you cold?" She replied, "NOt really. Feel my hands." She gave her hand out to him and Min Soo shook a little as he was grabbing for it. He felt the warmth of her hands and said, "Wow. Your hands are pretty warm in the cold weather." So Young giggles and said, "It's always warm. Unless I wash my hands with cold water. You can use it when your cold." There was a silence, but Min Soo couldn't help but not to let go of her hand. He held her hand throughout the walk to the benches. So Young couldn't help see Min Soo smile everytime they looked at each other.
So Young sat down while Min Soo sat real close and rubbed her arms to keep her warm. They both looked up and said, "What are you going to do when you graduate?" "I don't know. Maybe go into the music business. " Min Soo pulled out his cellphone and held it as a microphone and started to sing. So Young covered her mouth with her hands as she was laughing. Min Soo kept singing, but came close to her face. They stared into each other's eyes and hesitated to come closer. Min Soo counted to himself, "1,2...3!" MIn Soo inched closer until he heard someone walk by them. So Young sat there smiling while MIn SOo fell onto the hard concrete sidewalk. So Young slowly held her hands out and said, "Here. Are you okay?" MIn Soo grabbed her soft warm hands again and pulled her off her seat. SHe landed on him with her lips softly touching his lips. So Young leaned back and got up rapidly and stuttered, "I'll...s-s-see you...t-t-t-tonight..I mean...in c-c-class. B-bye~" MIn Soo got up as quickly as he could and ran back to his dorm. He locked the door behind him and jumped on his bed. He placed his fingers on his lips and closed his eyes to play the memory back again.

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Old Post 01-28-2003 12:15 AM
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bUhrI_sAuCe47
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Ch 7
Min Soo and Tae Sung was wandering around the streets that were filled with lights and pretty decorations for the holidays. Tae Sung saw the light sign saying, "NO RAE BANG" above the entrance. He asked, "Min Soo, let's do some singing." Min Soo too busy looking at his cell said, "I guess. Sure." Without knowing he heard someone sing real loud, but the voice was beautiful. He tried to peek into the mosaic window , but only saw a girl and a group of her friends. Tae Sung was busy arguing with the waiter for a room. "I'm sorry, sir. We're full, unless you can get a room with someone." Min Soo pointed to the door where the singing came from. Tae Sung went inside and asked, "Can we share with you guys?" The lights were off and the colorful strobe lights kept blinking, making it hard to see the people. One girl said, "Of course~ Grab a mic."
Tae Sung held the mic and handed it to Min SOo. "Min Soo, sing your song." Min Soo shy at first asked the other girl holding the second mic, "Can I sing a song with you?" The girl nodded her head. Min Soo went up to the machine and pressed in 5 digits and waited for the song title to appear on the screen. The girls started to scream when Min Soo came close to the girl who was singing with him. He asked, "Want to do the girl solo? I'll do the boy part." The intro of the song started to play, a melody which had piano in it. Min Soo looked at the girl and started to sing with feeling. They both sang with their hearts and with harmony. After the song was done, everyone was quiet and clapping as they were wiping their tears.
Min Soo felt he was trapped in a corner so he walked to the bar. He left one hand on his cell phone on the bar. He asked, "Can I get some SAHN SOJU?" The bartender gave him the shot glass and a dark green bottle with a mountain drawn on it. He poured himself a shot and drank it down in one big gulp. He kept looking at the cellphone to see if she would call him back. Every shot he took, the more it made Min Soo tear up inside. As he was heading back into the no rae bang, he called So Young's cellphone. He sat himself on the ground next to the door. He got no answer.
As he was coming back inside, the one girl said, "This song is dedicated to someone." Min Soo sat down on the sofa and listened to her tone. The song seemed familiar to Min Soo. He felt like she was singing it to him. During the middle of the song, she ran outside and covered her mouth. Min Soo saw some tears coming down her soft cheeks. He felt the vibration from the phone, but couldn't find his phone in his pockets. By the time he pulled it out, he missed the call. He checked to see who called and read, "So Young."
He pushed down the speed dial number for her and waited. He walked outside since he wasn't getting good enough reception. With his voice breaking, he said, "Hello? So Young? Where are you?" The girl turned around to Min Soo and said, "I'm right here."

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