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I didnt know where to put this..jokes or sex?
AHHA man the first few are fuckin hilarious...then it just gets nasty. the munchies are fuckin disgusting. but lol man, shits funny. umm yea...everything below pertains to sex so...
Got off AR...LOl
Abe Lincoln: Donkey punch, but pull out. Jizz all over her face, more specifically the oral area. Then you goto her bathroom (or yours, or the motel's) and find some clippers. Hell it's better to have them with you if you want to do this. Anyways, you proceed to clip off her pubes and gently sprinkle them on your carefully launched man juices. The beard and mustache is where it gets the name Abe Lincoln. Oh and dont forget to take a picture and send it to me.
The Pirate: Cum in one eye, punch the other
The Chili Surprise: Eat some wonderful stuff that's guaranteed to give you the runs (i.e. moldy fish) prior to this. A nice dose of exlax will probably do it too though. Anyhow, when you're in bed with your girlfriend fooling around, go for the titty fuck. She probably won't stop you, unless she's a prude bitch (in which case you shouldn't even attempt this). When you're on top of her, position yourself to start titty fucking her, but instead unload your massive chili-like shit on her stomach and yell, "Surprise, bitch!"
Fluffy Walrus: Similar to "the walrus", but a little more harsh. After you have cummed in her mouth, punch her in the stomach as she is swallowing your load. This will force your cum to come out of her nostrils creating walrus-like tusks
Pinball Machine: This takes some skill. Get your broad to lay upside down, with her shoulders on the ground, and her lower back against the couch/bed/wall, etc... You stand over her, making sure your ass is on the same side as her stomach. Do as you will with her, but before you let her go, drop a turd on her stomach, and it will roll down her chest, probably hitting a tit like a flipper on a pinball machine. For more hilarity, yell "Aww, TILT!" when she screams and runs away
Hot Tea & Milk: Wait until your girlfriend/wife goes to sleep. When she's sleeping, proceed to start masturbating. When you're almost ready to bust, position your balls over her mouth and punch her in the side. When she wakes up screaming, stuff your sack (the teabag) in her mouth, leave it in there as long as you want to or can, pull it out and ejaculate in her mouth. This is how you make hot tea & milk
The Rodeo (Part 2): Similar to "The Poor Man's Rodeo." You mount any girl doggy-style and in the middle of it, you get a firm grip of her hair and tell her "I have AIDS." Watch her try to buck you off
The Hodown: Related to the rodeo. Have 4 of your friends hide naked in the closet. Proceed to ram her from behind and when you're about to nut, shout HODOWN! At this point your friends jump out and run around screaming. See if you can hold on!
The Munchies: You and your friend go to the grave yard and dig up a dead woman. You get your friend to eat her out, then you do a gutbuster on the corpse, this will cause the organs to come out of the womans pussy and into your friend's mouth
Rear Admiral: Get a girl to bend over with only her feet and hands touching the floor (bending the knees is not allowed). Then insert your cock into her ass and begin walking her around the room. With only your cock as her guide, you've truly become the Rear Admiral
Fuzzy nose: Instead of straddling a girl's stomach to titty fuck her, you reverse your position by straddling her face so that her nose is up your ass hole while you titty fuck her
Screaming Seagul: While fucking some random girl on the beach doggystyle. When she's not looking, stick your junk in the sand and then re-insert it, watch that bitch scream
Munging: I'm not exactly sure how it is spelled but I do know that it is the most dirtiest dirty term. Ever. It reqires 3 people, one of these three must be dead for about a month so that they are bloated and their insides have turned to soupy mush. Here's how it works. One person wraps their mouth around the deceased's genitalia, the 2nd person then jumps (two footed) onto the dead person's stomach which will cause all the soupy crap to explode out the genitalia and into the lucky person's mouth. Have fun with this one and don't wake up the neighbours
Dirty Iraqi Eye Goggle: This requires the male to get down on all fours and a female to jerk him off from behind. Just as the male is about to come, the female deepthroats his cock (from behind) and when the whole ordeal is over there should be a brown ring on her forehead. This is the eye goggle.
Wolfbaggin': A short chick is usually needed for this. While hammering this chick in the ass, and ready to cum, reach up and force a finger or two down her throat until her gag reflex kicks in. Her anus will spasm so delightfully and greatly enhance your wad blowing experience.
The Dolphin: Find yourself a fine lady-friend and proceed to seduce her. Mount her doggy-style. Then, without warning, ram it into her brown starfish. She will turn and stare at you, mimmicking the sounds of a dolphin.
Boston Steamer: Shit on your partner's back, while they're asleep, after a night of passion. Then leave town.
Hot Karl: The Hot Karl is very simple yet effective fun for the whole family. In a nutshell, you squat over your "partner" and take a dump on their forehead. There is also the "Warm Karl", in which there is a layer of plastic wrap between the shit and the forehead, and the "Cold Karl" in which the "partner" lays under a table with a glass top while you shit on it, giving them a nice view from below.
Strawberry Shortcake: Basically the same idea as the "jelly donut". Right before you cum, punch the bitch in the nose, and then let it fly all over her face.
Swimmer's Ear: This is when, before you cum, you put your **** in your partner's ear and fill it up.
Tropical Wind: When a girl is eating your ass, you break wind.
Woody Woodpecker: When a girl is sucking your balls, tap your cock on her forehead
Dutch Oven: This is simply when you put your partner's head under the covers and fart. Can be very vile.
Cleveland Steamer: This is when, after having anal sex with a woman, you fuck her tits. The streak left behind is the Cleveland Steamer.
Fire Island: This is when you tell your partner that your going to jizz on their face while they sleep. Of course they won't believe you, so you do it anyway.
Greek: This is when you glue your partner's eyes closed with your jizz. Truly hilarious.
The One-Eyed Pirate: Once again, you're getting head from some no good whore that deserves to be fucked with. This time you will be using your ejaculation to start something great. When you cum, you squirt a good amount of it right into the lady's eye which should prompt her to get up holding her eye closed due to the pain she is in. Once she's up, kick her in the leg so she hops around on one leg. All in all, hopping around on one leg as she's holding her one eye closed, she will resemble and peg-legged pirate with one eye. Maybe, if she's cool, she'll even scream "Yarr!" or "Argh!" You never know. Afterwards, call your lawyer and ask him what he can do for you to keep you out of federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison.
Wheel Burrow: when your fucking a girl at a party, do her wheel barrow style(she gets on 2 hands and you lift her legs while doing her from behind) then as your doing her walk her out in the middle of the party
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10-28-2003 05:11 AM
