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krnxswat
what a joke!

Registered: Mar 2002
Location: New York
Posts: 5391
Status: Offline

Lightbulb You know you're Korean if....

The furniture in your house never matches the wallpaper, the carpet, the decorations or any of the rest of the furniture.

You have rocks, sticks, leaves, deer antlers, and strange smelling, unknown substances in your pantry for use in medicine.

You own a rice cooker or two.

You buy soy sauce by the gallon.

Your family owns butcher knives bigger than your head.

You live with your Hal-moh-nee.

You parents own a liquor store, dry cleaner, or some kind of discount store.

You drive a lowered, fixed up Integra, eclipse, or some kind of Honda.

You never tip over 15%.

You hate Denny's, even though you go there 24-7.

You love Sanrio stuff.

You have a pager.

You do that twirling thing with you pen.

You always have a box of Sapporo Ichiban ramyun or Yook-eh-jang.

Even though your family isn't super rich, you own a Mercedes or Lexus.

You bring home all A's and one B, and your parents yell, "Why did you get a B?"

There is a 75% chance that you'll marry someone with the same last name .

White people always say, "Say my name in Korean!"

When you have a family gathering, 50 little kids are running around your house, and YOU have to entertain them.

You can't stand Margaret Cho (that actress on All American Girl).

When the bill comes, you practically beat each other up- saying that YOU'LL pay for the bill.

When you were in Junior High, you were either a nerd or a little "kkang ppeh" wannabe.

Your parents say, "The reason why we came to America was so that you could get a good education, so go to Harvard."

You either have to be a doctor, lawyer, or some big-time business tycoon.

Your parents say, "1600 isn't that hard... just study."

When some mega-mega nerd student is in the Korean newspaper, your parents say, "why can't you be like him?"

If you're a guy, then you always have to put up with the "20 questions" game when you call a girl if her parents answer but if you're smart, you ask, "Um hello? Is Bob there?

No matter how well your parents speak English, they can't say "wood."

Your dad hits you in the head with his knuckle, and it hurts REALLY REALLY bad.

Your parent's idea of a social life is church.

You have a container full of Kim-Chee in your fridge right now.\

You own a pair of BYC socks.

You or your parents start singing when drunk.

You have the Asian decals stuck to your car.

Your parents are still shorter than you.

You call a Korean older than you "Oppah" or "noona."

You make daily stops to the local "Hello Kitty" store.

You know the "san-toki" song.

Your dad owns plaid pants.

You or your parents hand wash underwear.

"No-Rae Bang" is a common household word.

There's a bottle of Soju in your parents' fridge.

Your main source of income is New Years.

Your parents think anything goes with rice.

The rice you eat can stick to anything.

You can't believe your parents could have conceived children.

Your parents still spank you, even when you move out.

Failing a class means finding a new place to live.

Your mom rents Korean soap operas and watches them daily.

You have naked baby pictures of you.

Your parents read the labels of everything to see if it was made in Korea.

When you were little, relatives used to grab your genitals or breasts.

Your parents yell out your Korean name REAL loud in public places.

Ramen is the fifth food group.

You have to translate for your parents when ordering fast food.

Your parents are afraid of black people.

Your parents bought a gun after the L.A. riots.

Your parents used to cut your hair Okidoki.

You tell your parents you need to buy glue for school, but they reply, "just use rice!"

Your parent's idea of a social life is church.

People ask, "Hey, show me some Jackie Chan moves!".

When someone points you out, they say "that one Chinese girl (or guy)."

Your parents were ecstatic when the 88 Olympics were held in Korea.

You know how to do the "kimchi squat."

If you're a guy- you talk about fixing up the car that you will never have.

Even though you can't watch TV, your parents rent a million Korean videos and watch them continuously for hours on end.

Your parents took the TV out of the house.

Your mom sings chan-son-gahs (hymns) while driving.

Your grandmother sings chan-son-gahs really loud, while pounding her thigh, which is TOTALLY off beat.

You have a million black leather bibles.

Even though your parents are die-hard Christians, they don't want you getting TOO involved with church.

When you ask your parents if you can go out, they either reply "No" or "hmph" which means yes.

You go out two Fridays in a row, and they yell that you go out too much.

You have one of those silver kimhi-ttongs with buckles on the sides.

You have a gazillion small containers in your fridge with a different ban-chan inside. but even though it smells pretty raunchy, you still eat it.

When an Asian girl with a white guy (or vice versa) walks by, your parents STARE at them with their eyes popping out.

When you go to buffets, your parents make you eat until you think you're going to hurl, and even after you do, they say, "good, eat more."

Your parents yell at you for being short, but they're the ones that gave you the short genes.

Your parents raise their hand as if they're going to hit you, and you totally shudder, shrinking back.

The main reason why you want to go to college out of state is that you can get away from your parents.

When you go to church retreats, you long for some good ol' Korean cooking.

You have the ability to tell the different Asians apart (i.e. Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese).

You go to American restaurants, and your dad eats really wide and rudely, so you put your head down while whispering, "apppaaahhhhh stooopp!"

Your parents make you work at their business (i.e. liquor store, cleaners, discount store).

You bring home a white friend, and your parents immediately think that he/she sleeps around, uses drugs, and parties 24-7.

Your parents have absolutely no color sense, wearing totally mismatched clothes.

Your parents verbally abuse you, even when joking around.

Your parents never attended your Back to School Night or Open House at school.

Your mom is the BEST cook!

When your mom hears or watches something sad, she'll make this repeated sound really fast like "tte" a million times a minute.

When you're sick, your mom will pink inside of your elbow REALLY hard, saying you have a digestion problem or something.

Your parents were supposed to get a divorce many times, but they never did for the children's sake, financial problems, or simply because, "what would we tell church people?"

Your parents will be helping you with a math problem, but when you get something wrong, they'll start yelling and swearing at you so loud, as if you just committed some deadly crime.

Summer does not mean playtime to your parents. Summer means-bust out those workbooks so you can get ahead in class!

Kumon is a household word.

Whenever guests come over, your parents make you whip out your violin/piano skills.

When guests are leaving your house, you have to stand outside your house saying bye to them, not to mention bowing a gazillion times.

You'll go to a movie with your parents, and afterwards, they'll say "I don't understand."

Your parents never participated in the "American" traditions of Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy. You'll say, "Where's Santa Claus?" and they'll reply, "Santa Claus! Ptch! He's dead!" And then you'll start crying.

When you had your first loose tooth, your parents promised to not to pull it out but just to LOOK at it, but when they did, they just yanked the baby out.

You'll buy a shirt full price, and your parents will yell, "What! You could have bought that for $2 at the swap meet!"

You're going out with a friend and your parents need to know their name, where they live, their phone #, what their parents do for a living, what kind of grades they get, what they got on their SATs, how they dress, if they go to church, and if they're male or female.

After you're get off the phone with someone from the opposite sex, your parents will start interrogating you about that person (except the last one). You'll talk to someone from the opposite sex two days in a row, and your parents immediately think there's something going on.

You bring home straight As, and your parents say, "So? You're supposed to get that!"

When I was in Korea...."

__________________
immagijibae: seons a hoeeeeeee, he wears them g-strings, and i also knowwwww, they hurt his dinga-lings~ la l alalala~ nanannan~ oh~ seons a hoeeeeee, he wears them g-strings..............
immagijibae: liiiiiiiiiiiiiike my new 1-minute-made-up song???????

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Old Post 10-19-2002 06:34 PM
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krnxswat
what a joke!

Registered: Mar 2002
Location: New York
Posts: 5391
Status: Offline

cont.

When you get a car, the only places you're supposed to go is school, the library, and maybe the grocery store to do grocery shopping for them.

When the doorbell rings, your parents get ALL suspicious and prohibit you from answering it. When they do answer it, they'll open the crack like 1 centimeter and speak through that. And if it's a salesperson, they'll slam the door screaming, "we no interest!"

Your mom will laugh with her hand covering her mouth.

You'll be somewhere with your boyfriend/girlfriend, and then you'll see an adult from church, so you immediately start freaking out.

You had to miss out on Saturday morning cartoons as a child, attending dreaded Korean School.

While on long car trips, your parents will get bored, so they'll think about something that bugs them, and start bugging you. (i.e., Why is your room so messy! Why do you always fight with your siblings! Why do you always go out so much!)

You have a mini-van which your mom drives.

Your parents will be yelling at you (or each other) and in the middle of all the raucus, will close the windows so that the neighbors won't hear.

You never feed your dog dog food but all your leftovers.

You'll be cooking kalbi outside, and neighbors will ask what the aroma is.

You think EVERYTHING is racial, like if someone is mildly rude to you.

When a fixed up Japanese car drives by, you can't help but look to see who's driving.

You go to church retreats to meet people from the opposite sex

__________________
immagijibae: seons a hoeeeeeee, he wears them g-strings, and i also knowwwww, they hurt his dinga-lings~ la l alalala~ nanannan~ oh~ seons a hoeeeeee, he wears them g-strings..............
immagijibae: liiiiiiiiiiiiiike my new 1-minute-made-up song???????

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Old Post 10-19-2002 06:34 PM
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saranghae
Moderator

Registered: May 2002
Location: cali
Posts: 4994
Status: Offline

haha... some are really true...

i've read this somewhere before... haha... actually i've seen this a lot.

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Old Post 10-20-2002 01:07 AM
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Dekkai
I.D.I.O.T

Registered: Aug 2002
Location: MX
Posts: 227
Status: Offline

Unhappy mmm...

such a long list... if I was korean I'd read it complete....

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psalm 38:6

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Old Post 10-20-2002 01:42 AM
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TyGer STyLe
no longer a couch jockey

Registered: Aug 2002
Location: Cerritos CA
Posts: 1225
Status: Offline

damn... some of those are freakin SOOOOOO true... PUAHAHAHA... dang... i was bustin up at alot of em...

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Enter My Head!

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Old Post 10-20-2002 02:06 AM
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paboh4life
al myun suh ;)

Registered: Jul 2002
Location:
Posts: 736
Status: Offline

omgoodness most of it was true for me... I was laughin really hard on sum of em...

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³¡.

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Old Post 10-20-2002 11:27 PM
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XxAzNViPeRBoIxX
:GeNeRaShUn:

Registered: Oct 2002
Location: Reppin DaNiKeLzNDiMe
Posts: 297
Status: Offline

hahhahahahha itz kinda tru

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Old Post 10-23-2002 12:30 AM
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castle outsider
Senior Member

Registered: Jul 2002
Location:
Posts: 3342
Status: Offline

yea i read like half the first [age

then i remembered i wasnt korean

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Old Post 10-23-2002 12:37 AM
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saranghae
Moderator

Registered: May 2002
Location: cali
Posts: 4994
Status: Offline

there's a chinese one too... i'll find it juss for u

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Old Post 10-23-2002 02:50 AM
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saranghae
Moderator

Registered: May 2002
Location: cali
Posts: 4994
Status: Offline

here it is: oh gosh... this is long

You knoe ur chinese if:

You eat rice for breakfast.
Your friends and everybody else assume you know Kung Fu.
You remember or still use "the bowl" for haircuts.
Your folk’s kitchen have a constant lingering aroma.
You notice the main topic at family get-togethers is food.
Your parent’s lifelong ambition is to go to Las Vegas.
You never ever sat down on Popo’s warm chair after she got up.
You seldom ever owned new clothes if you were a second child.
Your folks never speak under 10 decibels at family gatherings.
You never made the school football or basketball team.
You have two middle initials instead of one.
You have an inherent "fear" for bamboo feather dusters.
Your "hot" date is going to your parent’s house to have "jook".
Your living room sofas have covers on them.
You laugh at Kan Tong and Chung King commercials.
You inform the ticket clerk that your 13 year old is 12 to avoid paying adult fare.
You sneak in snacks at the movie theater.
Your grandmother smell like mothballs.
You’d bring home a Caucasian friend and "popo" would be cooking something that smelled like it had died a week ago.
You were told you all look alike.
You know how to pinch someone with your toes.
You graduated from UCI or knows of someone who did.
You would drive around the block 10 times rather than pay for parking.
You have a hard time pronouncing "aluminum" and "lobster claw".
You truly believe that your neighbor could use that old sweater rather than throwing it away.
You would take that sweater if you were your neighbor.
You would stand in line for hours and hours for a free gift whether you needed it or not.
You have clothes in your closet that is coming back in style.
You’ve seen every Bruce Lee movie.
You still have your old slide rule.
You never order chop suey or egg foo young.
You have a relative or friend who works as a waiter or cook.
You prefer your chicken and shrimp served with heads and feet still attached.
You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.
You spit bones and other food scraps on the table (that’s why you need a vinyl tablecloth).
Your parents know how to launch nasal projectiles.
You buy on sale 100 rolls of toilet paper and store them in a closet or in a vacant room when your adult child moves out.
You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas when its 50% off.
Your kitchen has a sticky film of grease over it.
Your stove is covered with tin foil.
You have stuff in your freezer since the beginning of time.
You have never used your dishwasher.
You use your dishwasher as a dish rack.
You boil water and put it in the refrigerator.
You keep a thermos of hot water available at all times.
You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers.
You use grocery bags to hold garbage.
You eat all meals in the kitchen.
You bring oranges or other produce with you as a gift when you visit peoples homes.
You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel.
You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully to save and reuse wrappings and bows.
You feel like you’ve won the lottery if you didn’t have to pay tax for an item.
You starve yourself all day before going to an all you can eat buffet.
You stop dialing 411 information when they started to charge for each call.
You only call long distance after 11 PM.
You suck on salty preserved seeds for a sore throat.
You keep a stash of Li Hing Mui at home.
Your eyes resemble dime slots when you laugh.
You know what the term "FOB" and "ABC" means.
You laugh at Martin Yan’s jokes not because he’s funny.
Your parents have a glass jar of preserved limes aging on top of the roof.
You own a wok.
You know what a "bow" is…and it doesn’t mean to bend over.
You never eat fried foods when you’re sick (it creates phlegm and hot air).
You would prefer your fish entree staring at you on the dinner table.
You never discuss your love life with your parents.
Your parents still use a clothes line.
You save your old coke bottle glasses even though you’re never going to use them again.
You keep most of your money in a savings account.
You own your own meat cleaver and sharpen it.
You’ve joined a CD club at least once.
You keep used batteries.
You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewelry or electronics.
You’re always late.
You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don’t eat the last piece of food on the table.
You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
Your dad thinks he can fix anything.
You live with your parents and over 30 years old (and they like it that way). And if you’re married, you live in the apartment next to your parents, or in the same neighborhood.
Your parents house is always cold.
You beat eggs with chopsticks.
You never use measuring cups.
You reuse tea bags.
You tip Chinese delivery guys/waiters more.
You never call your parents to say hi.
You always cook too much.
Your parents always ask you if you’ve eaten, even though it’s midnight.
Your parents send money to their relatives in China.
Your parents tell you to boil herbs and stay inside when you’re sick.
You have a drawer full of used pens, most of which don’t write anymore.
You know all the waiters at your favorite Chinese restaurant.
Your parents never go to the movies.
You notice at dances, a wall of guys standing together trying to look cool.
You iron your own shirts.
You play a musical instrument.
You don’t own any real Tupperware, only used margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars.
You never leave any leftovers on the table in a restaurant. You have it put in boxes or finish it.
Your ketchup, mayonnaise, and mustard in the refrigerator are all "Price Club-size".
You have an assortment of condiments and utensils from fast food takeouts stuffed in a drawer.
You never order for room service.
You majored in something practical like engineering, medicine, or law.
Your parents are never satisfied with your grades.
You own a rice cooker.
You buy rice in 50 pound sacks.
You wash rice 2 to 3 times before you cook it.
You steam something on top of your rice while its cooking.
You have acquired a taste for bitter melon.
You like congee with thousand year old eggs.
You always carry a stash of food when you travel like preserved plums, beef jerky, or dried cuttlefish.
Your parents vehemently refuse the sack of gold coin oranges that their guests brought to be courteous.
You know what MJ means.
You pick your teeth at the dinner table, but you cover your mouth.
You have a piano in the living room.
You live in an apartment and your parents always want you to come home.
You have a rice cooker to check in at the airport when you travel.
You grow your own bean sprouts in the kitchen.
Your mother made you peel water chestnuts and snow peas.
You have an lonely unmarried relative who frequently drops by during dinner time.
You received little red envelopes containing money on special occasions.
You use the underside of a porcelain bowl to sharpen your knives.
You cut your own hair…or had someone in your family do it.
Your grandmother has a lot of gold teeth…especially in front.
You keep fresh garlic and ginger in the kitchen at all times.
You know what the term "lemon" or a "banana" means.
You only have to shave every other day (maybe).
You tell your friends that you’re starting a new mustache when you really had it for several months.
You wash and reuse ziplock bags.
You save your children’s halloween candy and give it out the next year.
You either love or hate "mooncakes".
You know at least three people named Alan Wong.
Your parents constantly complain you use too much toilet paper when you go to the bathroom.
You hated that black herb medicine that your parents forced you to drink when you were sick.
Your parents have kitchen towels made of old cloth rice bags.
You never drank milk after eating cherries.
You’ve swallowed those tiny "BB’s" with hot tea for a tummy ache.
Your mother has a short-haired, curly perm.
You’ve asked your parent’s help on one math problem and 2 hours later they’re still lecturing.
You shop at 99 Ranch Markets.
Your parents enjoy comparing you to their friend’s kids.
You’ve had to sit through karaoke videos with scantily clad, ugly Asian women attempting to dance and walk around a temple, forest, or library.
You’ve had to eat parts of animals that they don’t even put in hotdogs.
You have piles of shoes and slippers blocking the entrances to your home.
You have no eyelashes!
Your idiot friends try to impress you with pathetic imitation languages, like the ever so popular "ching chong woo bok chi"…etc.
Your biology lecture on marine life (seaweed, octopii, sea cucumbers, etc.) was last night’s dinner.
You have at least one family member who wears black wire or plastic framed glasses.
You have several relatives who wear glasses…thick glasses.
You like $1.75 movies
You like $1.50 movies even more!
Your parents never kissed you…your parents never kissed each other.
Your friends ask you to translate the scribbles on chopsticks (like you really know what it means!).
You call all your parents friends "auntie or uncle".
You get nothing if you do well in school, but get in big trouble if you don’t.
Your dad still pulls his socks up to his knees…you know, the ones with the blue and pink stripes at the top.
Your parents buy you clothes and shoes many sizes too big so you can "grow" into them and wear them for years to come.
Your family always cheer for the Asian athlete competing (eg. Michael Chang, Michelle Kwan, etc).

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Old Post 10-23-2002 02:52 AM
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saranghae
Moderator

Registered: May 2002
Location: cali
Posts: 4994
Status: Offline

Your parents or relatives have goldfish swimming in an aquarium.
Your first generation relatives have a statue of an obese, bald-headed man surrounded by children.
Your parents collect jade jewelry.
Your friends from China think anything from the old country is considered "good stuff".
You know not to eat the oranges or tangerines arranged in a little pyramid.
You always drink tea after a meal.
Your dad owns at least one bird.
Your parents grow vegetables in a garden.
You use doilies to decorate your furniture.
Your friends automatically assume you’re good at math.
You are good at math!!! (the hell with humility).
You know how to pick out the meat in watermelon seeds with your teeth.
Your grandmother rapped your knuckles with her chopsticks while reaching food with your fingers.

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Old Post 10-23-2002 03:14 AM
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Dekkai
I.D.I.O.T

Registered: Aug 2002
Location: MX
Posts: 227
Status: Offline

oh my god

I'm glad I'm mexican

__________________
psalm 38:6

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Old Post 10-23-2002 04:14 AM
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saranghae
Moderator

Registered: May 2002
Location: cali
Posts: 4994
Status: Offline

Re: oh my god

quote:
Originally posted by Dekkai
I'm glad I'm mexican


haha

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Old Post 10-23-2002 04:19 AM
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Klumzy
Senior Member

Registered: Jul 2002
Location: NY
Posts: 738
Status: Offline

omg... that was freakin long... i didn't even fnish reading your first post but some where hella funny

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"The man of tomorrow is forged by his battles today."

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Old Post 10-23-2002 06:28 AM
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KawaiiAngel
Member

Registered: Apr 2002
Location:
Posts: 50
Status: Offline

Yes. It is all true.
Another one is that when something is funny, you slap the person nearest to you.

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Old Post 10-25-2002 09:56 PM
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niggoreanboi
WHAT THE FUZZZ?!?!?!

Registered: Sep 2002
Location:
Posts: 8220
Status: Offline

man i apply in 20 haah i knoe d san tokki song but my mom isn't afraid of black people she married one haha

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Old Post 10-26-2002 12:57 AM
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krnxkid
ChOibOii

Registered: Oct 2002
Location: NY
Posts: 1205
Status: Offline

a lot r tru
yo seon ho.. u put so much on a thread
u must b typin for at least 30 minutes lol

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XANGA : choiboii123

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Old Post 11-15-2002 02:48 AM
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AZN Pinoy BOI
..:SeNsei-Kun

Registered: Nov 2002
Location: NY
Posts: 4208
Status: Offline

quote:
Originally posted by krnxkid
a lot r tru
yo seon ho.. u put so much on a thread
u must b typin for at least 30 minutes lol



idiot itz called cut-n-paste :stupid: (with out the i am)

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wana chat?
aim: LiQUiD PhLiP o1
xanga: AZNpinoyBOI

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Old Post 11-15-2002 03:02 AM
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aznkid1008
God is my judge

Registered: Apr 2002
Location: nj
Posts: 2031
Status: Offline

awww damn and i thought lookin veitnamese would get me through life -_-;;;
guess looks rnt everythin, by blood i am common to most koreans
and i liked being the only asian kid :sad:

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the fool is the one who thinks he is wise, yet the wise one is the one who thinks he is a fool

Remember the heros
Remember the lives
Remember the day
God bless

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Old Post 11-15-2002 03:11 AM
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JeNyA
swt_krn_grl

Registered: Sep 2002
Location:
Posts: 195
Status: Offline

hehe

.........lol..............
smth`s true

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Old Post 11-15-2002 04:13 AM
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