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Three worst chinese tortures
A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and
he's hopelessly lost. It's been nearly
three weeks since he's eaten anything
besides what he could forage and he's been
reduced to sleeping in caves and under trees.
One afternoon he comes upon an old mansion in
the woods. It has vines covering most of it
and the man can't see any other buildings in
the area. However, he sees smoke coming out
of the chimney implying someone is home.
He knocks on the door and a bearded old man
answers. The old man squints his eyes and says,
"What do you want?"
The young man says, "I've been lost for the
past three weeks and haven't had a decent meal
or sleep since that time. I would be most
gracious if I could have a meal and sleep in
your house for a night."
The old Chinese man says, "I'll let you come
in on one condition: You cannot mess around
with my granddaughter."
The man, exhausted and hungry, readily agrees
saying, "I promise I won't cause you any
trouble. I'll be on my way tomorrow morning."
The old Chinese man replies, "Ok, but if I do
catch you then I'll give you the three worst
Chinese torture tests ever known to man."
"Agreed," the man said as he entered the old
house. Besides, he thought to himself, what
kind of woman would live out in the wilderness
all her life?
That night, when the man came to eat after
cleaning up, he saw how beautiful the
granddaughter was. She was an absolute pearl,
and while he had only been lost three weeks,
it had been many, many months without
companionship. As the girl explained she had
only seen the occasional monk besides her
grandfather, they both couldn't keep their eyes
off each other throughout the meal.
Later that night, the man snuck into the girl's
bedroom and they had quite a time, but had kept
the noise down to a minimum. When their love
act was finished, the man crept back to his
room thinking to himself, "Any three torture
tests would be worth it after that experience."
The next morning the man awoke and felt something
heavy pressing on him. He opened his eyes and
there was a huge rock on his chest. On the rock
was a sign saying, "1st Chinese torture test:
50 kg rock on your chest."
"What a lame torture test," the man thought to
himself as he got up and walked over to the
window. He opened the shutter and threw the rock
out. On the backside of the rock was another sign
saying, "2nd worst Chinese torture test: Rock
tied to RIGHT testicle."
The man, seeing the rock was too far out the window
to be grabbed, jumped out the window after the
rock. Outside the window was a third sign saying
"3rd worst Chinese torture test: LEFT testicle
tied to bedpost."
---- got it from another site :)
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11-21-2002 02:48 AM
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
