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[LongFic]THE INViSIBLE WiND ··· H·O·T ···
The Invisible Wind
By: angeldust
The Invisible Wind – unseen, yet heard, moving branches and scattering fallen sepia and auburn leaves.
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My parents’ never ending arguments and disagreements over money never ceased to pain me; every time I heard their bickering I’d try to shut their words out. I’d put my hands over my ears and close my eyes, and pretend that if I couldn’t hear or see it, then it wasn’t happening. It was pointless though, because no matter how many times I would shut out their yelling, their words would evade my defenses and invade my thoughts, taking over my emotions like maggots savoring a piece of rotten meat. Why didn’t they love each other anymore? If they, who’d been married for over 15 years, couldn’t love each other after all this time, how could they love me?
As a result, I’m quiet. Sometimes people mistake my silence for coldness, for not caring, but that’s not true. I just don’t know how to put into words exactly what I’m feeling. I don’t want something to come out the wrong way and be misinterpreted.
Although I’d try to forget, the memories still lingered on. I remembered the look on Kangta’s face when my dad brought out a cake that looked almost childishly decorated. The white frosting was thickly coated and bits of chocolate were stuck all over the sides. Written on top of the cake with chocolate icing was ‘Happy 12th Birthday Chilhyun’. My father, the hopeless cook had stayed sober, and had asked for my help. He told me I could decorate the cake and since I knew Kangta liked chocolate, I told my dad we needed chocolate on the cake too. So he took out a block of chocolate and we chopped it up. My dad and I had stayed in the kitchen until Kangta got home from soccer practice and had baked the cake. I remember being so excited; I was allowed to stick the chocolate pieces on the sides of the cake! But I was even happier, thinking, that my appa didn’t smell funny today and that he had asked me to help him.
My dad placed the cake on the oval glass table we had in our dining room. Kangta had the brightest smile on his face, grinning, he hugged my Father while I jumped around exclaiming that I had helped.
My mother was strong, she was smart and unwavering. But my father was lazy, jobless and an alcoholic. Sometimes the alcohol swirled around in him and he was lucid; I would crawl into his sprawled arms, falling asleep with the scent of alcohol in the lingering in the air. Other times the alcohol caused an eruption of anger in my father and another force would take over him; he would break household objects and it would eventually lead to the shattering of our family.
My dad left when I was 13. I watched silently from my window on the 2nd floor of our house, the image of him walking out of the house, the anguish in his eyes – it is still etched in my mind.
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The skies were dreary and the crunch of fallen autumn leaves were heard as mine and Kangta’s friends gathered around the table and took out their lunches, opening lids and taking out bottles of juice and cups and placing them on the one of the picnic tables places strategically under trees everywhere in our school. Every Friday we would do this, sharing our lunches and chattering until the bell for class went. I enjoyed these times; I would sit under the looming oak tree, unnoticed, observing the happy couples in our group. They looked so happy, their cheeks crimson from the blood rushing to their cheeks after seeing their loved one. I’d smile as I felt as though I shared a little of their happiness by witnessing their times together.
I turned to hear the low voice of Jaewon telling my brother that he and Woohyuk needed to come over and get something from our house after school. The lanky boy with long limbs turned back to his girlfriend Mimi and my eyes looked over the other couples.
Tony and Nara whispering to each other, my brother and Eugene chasing each other, Jaewon helping Mimi with her homework while munching on a sandwich – these couples seemed so filled with glee at just the sight of each other and I couldn’t help but wonder when I would be able to understand how they felt about each other. Everyone wants to know love; it’s a basic fact, which everyone realizes – we… all… want… to know... love.
A couple I used to enjoy watching didn’t seem so happy nowadays; Minji and Woohyuk. I used to watch with interest as my friend Minji’s already lively demeanor livened up even more in the presence of Woohyuk. But as time passed, the wind blew and things had changed.
Both of them were sitting on the seats next to the picnic table with their backs to the table. Minji had her hands on the sides, lively chatter coming from her mouth while Woohyuk seemed to be especially attentive to his plate of food, his bleached hair hanging down, covering his face.
I picked at my food while humming a made-up tune, then let my gaze turn back to the grey skies. As I scanned the sky full of clouds I could sense someone’s eyes on me. I turned around, and found myself lost in the dark eyes of Jang Woohyuk…
I blinked and proceeded to tell myself to look away, but could not bring myself to. His eyes held a melancholy to them and I found myself curious. It seemed an eternity before I could look away, and while doing so I caught Minji smiling at me; her beautiful eyes now filled with an indescribable sadness that no one seemed to see, but me.
The bell rang indicating the end of lunch and we scrambled to clean our mess up. I grabbed some paper plates off the table and stuffed them into a plastic bag to throw away. Hands everywhere on the table struggling to pick up little bits and pieces of food, and just for a moment my hand was there next to his, barely touching and brought shivers to me. In that short moment where everyone one was too busy to notice, his hand ran over mine and time stood still. After what seemed like minutes but was really seconds we both started cleaning with both hands again.
“Hey Aurora, give that to me,” Woohyuk said quietly, taking the plastic bag filled with garbage from me, “I’ll throw it away for you, go to class, you’ll be late.”
“Thanks Woohyuk,” I shot him a grateful smile and hurried to class, looking back once I got to the doors to the halls. Woohyuk, Kangta and Minji remained there cleaning in silence; the rustle of the leaves once in awhile disturbing the tense silence.
As the remainder of school progressed I found myself with nothing but Woohyuk on my mind. When I thought of him it was as though I could hear music playing, the notes dripping in melancholy sweeping through me.
Woohyuk was the other quiet person in our group, almost as quiet as I was. Ironically, his hair was a bright orange tone and seemed to always be covering his eyes, almost as though he had his hair cut so that he could avoid people looking at his face. His small eyes turned into crescents when he laughed or smiled, which was seldom anyway.
My teacher’s dull voice permeated the atmosphere; the class was quiet and struggling to stay awake. I lay my head on my table noiselessly and closed my eyes, letting my mind wander; images of Woohyuk floated around; they were unknowingly, silently embedded themselves inside me.
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I won't really be having chapters, just parts; meaning I won't be numbering chapters. Don't be surprised if I don't post more of this fic soon. I've got more of this done, but it's far from finished, I just want some feedback and comments on how it is so far and what the first part makes you think/feel. PLEASE give me feedback, I'd like to know what people think of this and of my writing style. I really want to improve /:
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05-05-2002 12:06 AM
