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Modern Day "HOP-FROG"
Ah yes, anoher hommage to Mr. Poe
This one is about Hop-Frog!
No one I knew loved to joke as the king did. I do not know whether fat makes someone more prone to joke, or vice versa.
The king did not enjoy jokes that required wit, but more practical jokes. His seven ministers were , of course, also very prone to joking along with the king.
Now during this time jesters had not yet become out of style for the royal courts. Most kings had jesters to laugh with and dwarves to laugh at.
Our king had a dwarf as a jester. This dwarf was given to the king as a present from one of his generals from a conquered foreign land. The jester was known as Hop-Frog, not because this name was given to him at birth, but because of the way the dwarf walked which was a sort of limp/hop. This undoubtedly gave Hop-Frog much pain, the king enjoyed the painful expressions that Hop-Frog would make as he walked. Due to the pains, Hop Frog was use to walking on his hands. His arms became so powerful that he was able to climb almost anything that he wanted to.
The king also held another dwarf, but this dwarf was not as mishappen as Hop-Frog but a minature and beautiful woman.
Her name was TRipetta, and I do not doubt that these two became close friends as the King's servants.
The night before a costume ball in the kingdom the king called upon Hop-Frog to help the king and his ministers come up with ideas.
Hop-Frog waddled in and stood in front of the king and his ministers.
"Ahh, Hop-Frog! My good dwarf! Have a draught of wine! It will brighten your wits!" said the King
As Hop-Frog was a small person, even the smallest amount of alcohol would drive him to MADNESS which was not a pleasant thing for him to expierience.
His silence angered the king.
"DRINK I SAY! DRINK!"
Still Hop-Frog refused to speak. Hop-Frog quickly took a sip. His eyes began to gleam, but he refused any more.
"How DARE you?"
Tripetta kneeled in front of the king begging for forgiveness for her friend. The king threw the whole goblet of wine into Tripettas face.
Tripetta said nothing with her head down, while the King and his ministers laughed at her. Tripetta slowly walked back to her seat.
All of a sudden a loud and strange grinding noise was heard. The sound of a large animal grinding its teeth.
"How dare you?" the king said to Hop-Frog.
"Me? How could it have been me?" Hop frog asked.
"I do believe that it was a parrot sharpening its beak on the bars of that window." Exclaimed a Gaurd.
"Hmm... I could have sworn on a Knight's honor that this creature was the producer of the noise." said the king.
"i have an idea my leige!" stated Hop-Frog
"Very Good!"
"My liege, I require 8 people to do this!"
"There are me and my ministers!"
"I see. This costume is known as "The Eight Ourangoutangs."
You are to dress as Ourangoutangs, which is a wild animal from my home land. They are so ugly and fierce that you shall scare all the women and make the men cry for their mothers!"
"WONDERFUL! Tell us more!"
"Well my liege, You must first lock all the doors so the men do not run and return with weapons. Then u and ur ministers must cover yourselfs in tar and dry grass. You will then be chained to each other in a circle. You will then be chained to the man directly across from you making the chains meet in the middle. You will look like a group of Orangutangs escaped from the zoo!"
"Wonderful hopfrog! This is your greatest idea yet!"
That night in the dance hall, the chandielier was not in use so there was still a chain with a hook dangling down the middle of the ceiling. There was also a hole at the top of the roof, where sun light would enter during the day.
As the geusts arrived the doors were locked. The eight fat and jolly men rolled out from a door and ran around, tripping over each other and shouting at the geusts. Women screamed and men ran for the doors, finding that the doors were locked. The king and his ministers could not help themselves and laughed.
They did not notice but the chain from which ther chandilier hung was slowly descending and when the eight were in the middle the chain hooked them and started to rise. The eight men were lifted laughing while Hop frog followed carring a torch. Hop frog jumped on the chain and climbed down to stare at the men, shouting:
" DO NOT FEAR! I WILL SEE WHO THESE MEN ARE! I WILL SEE!"
He slowly inched down until the torch was so close that the gleam could be seen in the men's eyes.
There was silent.
All of a sudden a loud and strange grinding noise was heard. The sound of a large animal grinding its teeth.
Hop-Frog was grinding his teeth. He dropped the torch which immeaditly lit the king and his ministers in flame. They SCREAMED. Their burning bodies wriggled, and melted, black tar and fat driping to the ground. Women once again screamed and men ran for doors.
" I SEE NOW! I SEE WHO THESE MEN ARE! THESE ARE MEN WHO WOULD LAUGH AT THE TORTURING OF INNOCENCE AND THE HUMILIATION OF A WOMAN! I SEE NOW!"
" I am hop-frog the jester! and this is my last jest!"
Hop-Frog and Tripetta were never seen again.
5246 characters long. ~sigh~.
This is what all the school shootings are about too right?
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06-04-2002 10:27 PM
