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Jusunlee.com Forums > Entertainment > Creative Writing > "Im Sorry"
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J-DraGoNz
Music/Multimedia/Lyricism

Registered: Jul 2002
Location: Orange County, Cali
Posts: 2025
Status: Offline

"Im Sorry"

New poem, wrote it today in 2 minutes, check it. leave some feedback


"Im Sorry"

Im sorry for causing you so much stress,
Im sorry that because of me you can never rest,
Im sorry that i broke my promise to you,
Im sorry for saying things when it wasnt true,
Im sorry for always making you cry,
Im sorry for ever getting high,
Im sorry that you had to meet me,
Im sorry that your the one to complete me.

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Old Post 01-26-2003 07:56 AM
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MasWusHot
Moderator

Registered: Nov 2002
Location: Levittown, PA
Posts: 2743
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aww i like it! Its so sweet~!

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Old Post 01-26-2003 03:48 PM
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iTsmeehLita
lita lita

Registered: Nov 2002
Location: So. CaL
Posts: 1109
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hey .. that was pretty good for writing it in 2 minutes ..

its really sweet ... but the " getting high " part seems a bit off key ... in the poem ... like the rest seems like about love and incompleteness ... ( ? )

i get that the part about getting high was probably part of the reason for the incompleteness ... but ... i guess thats just me ...

but good job .. mebbe next time u can put in like 4 minutes into it and see what coems out from that .. : D

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Old Post 01-26-2003 06:32 PM
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J-DraGoNz
Music/Multimedia/Lyricism

Registered: Jul 2002
Location: Orange County, Cali
Posts: 2025
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quote:
Originally posted by iTsmeehLita
hey .. that was pretty good for writing it in 2 minutes ..

its really sweet ... but the " getting high " part seems a bit off key ... in the poem ... like the rest seems like about love and incompleteness ... ( ? )

i get that the part about getting high was probably part of the reason for the incompleteness ... but ... i guess thats just me ...

but good job .. mebbe next time u can put in like 4 minutes into it and see what coems out from that .. : D




haha thanks, the gettin high part was the whole reason for da poem...she was all pissedoff cuz i blazed n shit...

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Old Post 01-27-2003 02:39 AM
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saranghae
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Registered: May 2002
Location: cali
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wOw~ that's really nice.

so sweet

onlie 2 minutes? in order for me to write a poem.. i gotta think for like 30 minutes or so! haha.

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Old Post 01-27-2003 04:29 AM
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AZN Pinoy BOI
..:SeNsei-Kun

Registered: Nov 2002
Location: NY
Posts: 4208
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quote:
Originally posted by iTsmeehLita
hey .. that was pretty good for writing it in 2 minutes ..

its really sweet ... but the " getting high " part seems a bit off key ... in the poem ... like the rest seems like about love and incompleteness ... ( ? )

i get that the part about getting high was probably part of the reason for the incompleteness ... but ... i guess thats just me ...

but good job .. mebbe next time u can put in like 4 minutes into it and see what coems out from that .. : D



yeah the high part makes it kinda messed up, but i like it over all, lol yeah yeah really good for 2 mins. post some more of ur poemz... lol i guess ur good cuz of ur lyric workz

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Old Post 01-27-2003 04:04 PM
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yubeenie
Senior Member

Registered: Feb 2003
Location: Arizona
Posts: 238
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Re: "Im Sorry"

wow!! i wish ma boyfriend say that to me!!..-a-;
but.. we don have any problem.. hm!!..-a-
then..i wish ma oppA (first love)say that to me!..=_=
haha..cuz..it's so sweet!!.. i wish anybody say that to me..T^T

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Old Post 02-23-2003 08:15 AM
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Chinesegrl
Senior Member

Registered: Aug 2002
Location: Nevada
Posts: 1444
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aww this is sweet! keep writing! hehehe

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Old Post 02-23-2003 06:15 PM
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.aS.|5p!7f!|23
foo oo o o o oo o oo o o

Registered: Nov 2002
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taht was relly good for 2 minutes u write often?

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Old Post 02-23-2003 06:38 PM
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TyGer STyLe
no longer a couch jockey

Registered: Aug 2002
Location: Cerritos CA
Posts: 1225
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good stuff... your writing is progressing but the "get high" part is a bit off though... it doesn't blend in with the rest of the poem... but other then that... its good stuff

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Old Post 02-24-2003 04:14 AM
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azn0monk
mystupidSNfromwayback

Registered: Aug 2002
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yea good stuff foshoz
i couldn't write anything in 2 minutes

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Old Post 02-26-2003 01:23 AM
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