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Jusunlee.com Forums > Relationships > Friends and Family > my parents think i'm a slut
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saranghae
Moderator

Registered: May 2002
Location: cali
Posts: 4994
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my parents think i'm a slut

my parents were never that big on the idea of dating until after college. but even so i still defied them. one day i stayed after school cuz of a band thing.. and my dad saw me through the hallway holding hands with my bf.. they lectured me for days.. and told me to break up with him. and then a month later.. this week.. my mom saw us walking in the hallway again.. she asked for his name.. and i said "vincent" out of the top of my head.. cuz i knew she would've questioned why i lied to her about not breaking up with him.. so now they think i had another bf.

my parents called me dirty and asked did i want guys that much. they asked if i couldn't live without guys. they think i date anyone who's around or wtuever.. and when i find another guy.. i'll jump to him. they talked about it as if i had sex.. like how having many boyfriends is bad and impure.. i guess they expect me to have onlie one bf when i'm 28 or something.. and marry him. the truth is thoee.. that this one is my second relationship. now they told me that i can't associate with guys.. no guy friends.. no guys calling even for hw.. nothing.. and esp no bfs. i'll listen to my parents and stuff.. but not juss leave him.. i juss can't. he's really special to me.. and our feelings are really deep.. something i never knew i could feel. maybe this is juss puppy love to some people.. iunno.. especially since i'm onlie 15.. but still.. i really do care for him. they think the onlie reason why i "want/need" a bf is cuz then i'll be classified as "pretty.. popular.. and better than my friends" but in truth its not.. they juss don't understand that.

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Old Post 12-12-2003 03:54 AM
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Chinesegrl
Senior Member

Registered: Aug 2002
Location: Nevada
Posts: 1444
Status: Offline

awww lily.. you're not one! you're a really good person ^^ you should sit your parents, larry, and his parents down and explain all of it even if they dont want to hear it and you have to come clean about lying about vincent or whoever.. jus tell them straight

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Old Post 12-12-2003 04:34 AM
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KeN VeRsUs RyU
the old guy.

Registered: Mar 2002
Location: 805!
Posts: 2972
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im ten years older than you. So im going to say something on behalf of the old people

I see dating in h.s. to be a waste of time. No matter how truly you care for the other person.. i see it as a way to fill a lonely void. Almost everyone i have spoken to view their h.s. relationships as "something to do". You may have some wonderful memories in h.s. with your bf but you have SOOOOOOO many other things to worry bout. Prioritize. worry bout school. Worry bout family. Go to church if your into that. You'll realize all this ... maybe.. around.. second year of college. That's an ideal time to date. You dont need any type of experience in dating at such a young age. you have the rest of your life to do that. my 2 cents.

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Old Post 12-12-2003 04:50 AM
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niggoreanboi
WHAT THE FUZZZ?!?!?!

Registered: Sep 2002
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quote:
Originally posted by KeN VeRsUs RyU
I see dating in h.s. to be a waste of time. No matter how truly you care for the other person

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Old Post 12-12-2003 05:26 AM
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TorrentialVVind
Kyuubi!

Registered: Nov 2003
Location:
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by KeN VeRsUs RyU
I see dating in h.s. to be a waste of time. No matter how truly you care for the other person
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


I somewhat agree. It's like giving presents to somebody to show them that you love them, but you shouldn't have to give that person anything as long as you know that they love you anyway.


Anyway... Well.. remember that your parents aren't evil, and that they are only doing this because they love you, as most parents say, and it's probably true. So basically, you shouldn't hate your parents. Allow them to gain trust, and if you feel that they don't trust you, tell them. Why they're probably treating you this way is PROBABLY because they don't trust either you, or your boyfriend. Try earning your parent's trust or respect for yourself or your boyfriend.

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Old Post 12-12-2003 02:01 PM
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kryogenix
Ghost

Registered: Nov 2002
Location: In your hard drive
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quote:
Originally posted by KeN VeRsUs RyU
im ten years older than you. So im going to say something on behalf of the old people

I see dating in h.s. to be a waste of time. No matter how truly you care for the other person.. i see it as a way to fill a lonely void. Almost everyone i have spoken to view their h.s. relationships as "something to do". You may have some wonderful memories in h.s. with your bf but you have SOOOOOOO many other things to worry bout. Prioritize. worry bout school. Worry bout family. Go to church if your into that. You'll realize all this ... maybe.. around.. second year of college. That's an ideal time to date. You dont need any type of experience in dating at such a young age. you have the rest of your life to do that. my 2 cents.





i agree. you probably will end up going to a college thousands of miles away from most of the people in your school so why waste your time when you know it probably won't last through the end of college? be patient, you shouldn't rush into a relationship. i think it's pretty harsh of your parents to call you that though. good luck

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Old Post 12-12-2003 09:16 PM
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MasWusHot
Moderator

Registered: Nov 2002
Location: Levittown, PA
Posts: 2743
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relationships in high school i think are fine .. and i dont really agree with much of what people are sayin in this thread, lol .. sure a lot of people dont end up seeing the people they have dated in HS .. but some do .. my parents have been goin out since like .. junior year in high school and now their married .. 26 years ... and i kno other people like that too .. so good things can come out of relationships .. and ur mom is freakin out over nothing, lol my parents caught me and my bf in much worse stuff than that and they still didnt get on me that bad .. oh well, just let em kno that ur not lookin to sleep with him or nething, its all good and friendly, lol

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Old Post 12-12-2003 11:11 PM
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ajy
Senior Member

Registered: Jul 2002
Location:
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werent you the one asking about having sex

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Old Post 12-22-2003 05:59 PM
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YaaMaKoh
spiritual life mod

Registered: Apr 2002
Location: NY
Posts: 1632
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sigh... i know how you feel about this situation
my parents did the exact same thing to me, but soon they learn about it, open up to it. sure, they do still care, but they dont mind me having a g/f or any girl friends as a matter of fact, but before the rule was no friends that are girls, no girlfriends, no calling, no associating, or else id get beat. they're really loose about it now, because they thought that id get bad grades if i start hanging out more with girls, and goin out more or w/e, but my grades are still pretty good, and now they trust me and stuff like that. all they care about is where im going, what time id be back, and stuff like those. eh, i dunno, i jus pray about these things, and sooner or later it gets better, religion to me helps a lot.

and like ken vs ryu said, dating in highschool is pointless and waste of time. well, the majority in statistics say that highschool relationships dont last, and you never end up seeing the person ever again, due to college and stuff like that. but the lesser amount saids that theyre still b/f and g/f, and are married till this day. if both of you know, and have emotions towards each other, and you know it will last, both of you should make plans about the future, same colleges and etc.. but this requires a lot of dedication and hard work. its possible... as of right now im makin plans with my g/f. were best friends, yet were in a relationship.. and the term best friends for life does come to play in my situation.. .. yeah.. a lof peole told me its not gonna work, and are so pestimistic about it, but we dont believe that at all. nobody knows whats goin on in our heads, and just assume stuff.

but yeah, when time passes by.. im sure your parents will loosen up a bit. theyre just worried about you and just jump to conclusions. what i would do is listen, and develop a better relatoinship with both mom and dad.. and yeah. although it feels awkward, telling them everything like what you would do to a normal friend helps a lot. coming to them for troubles, even going to the movies with them helps. ill be praying for you that all goes well in time

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Old Post 12-22-2003 06:00 PM
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Crazydeb8ter
administrator

Registered: Apr 2002
Location: CA
Posts: 5465
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tell them to fuckin relax and chill a little.

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Old Post 12-22-2003 09:36 PM
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eddiee
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Registered: Aug 2002
Location: 2o1
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tell them


welcome to the new generation

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Old Post 12-23-2003 12:47 AM
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babimei
Member

Registered: May 2003
Location:
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dayum have i been down that road... >< yeah... manqz... how come theres so many downsides about high school relationshipz? i mean... they aint great and you shouldnt like cry over them and shit buh these posts are making me sad lol... whatever yeah... it still is kind of annoying how parents automatically assume the WORST about you ... like holding hands must = sex doesnt it? --; i def know that feeling where your just like jesus, im standing next to him.... OMG!! blasphemy! lol.. yeah dont worry about it and talk to them.. it helps... ALOT lol

...andy your so cute xP love yOo baby ^_____________^ x33

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Old Post 12-25-2003 06:04 PM
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KeN VeRsUs RyU
the old guy.

Registered: Mar 2002
Location: 805!
Posts: 2972
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quote:
Originally posted by Crazydeb8ter
tell them to fuckin relax and chill a little.


i'd really like to see you say that to your parents.

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Old Post 12-25-2003 11:06 PM
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Ladi Jay
OG of JSL

Registered: Mar 2002
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you know, sometimes I think the older people don't realize that just because we're younger, it doesn't mean we don't know anything...

I think parents who are like that kinda push their kids to do stupid things... things that their kids wouldn't do if they were a tad bit more accepting. then when the kid does it, it's automatically because the kid is stupid or he/she's a bad son/daughter.

is that off subject??? sang cheon's reply just got me thinking.

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Old Post 12-26-2003 02:45 AM
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swt xtc
gr3y.angel

Registered: Mar 2004
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aish.. my parents think that too.. since i look older, i hang out with a lot of older people.. n mainly guys cuz i can just talk to them better for some unknown reason... eh i dont know, sometimes i feel like some older girls tend to look down on me, like.. get out of my territory type of thing you little..

in all essence they're just friends who happen to be a little older than me [15, 16, 17] n like also the college folk who can drive me places and buy me food.. hehe.. n usually theres nothing like a relationship or anything btwn me and my older friend.. but honestly i dont think my parents truly, fully trust me or believe me on that one yet.. ehh. i can understand that tho since i have lied to them a few times to get out of the house for someone i did like at the time... stupid mistake. but yeah ever since i introduced them to one of my older friends tho [who happened to be the type of guy EVERY korean parent wants as a son] they got better about it.. i dont no they still dont let me do everything.. and i guess i can understand that.. im only 14 and a half.

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Old Post 06-22-2004 12:44 AM
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aaqthree
3 Newtons

Registered: Jan 2003
Location: clumbyaaa
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Wow, I just read through this thread and some people completely miss the whole point of what growing up and coming of age actually is.

High school relationships aren't supposed to lead anyhwhere in particular - they're supposed to start to define your character. Just because you may never see someone again doesn't mean that they didn't mean anything to you, and that the time spent with each other meant nothing. It changes you, makes you realize things about yourself, and it still gives you lasting memories that you can share with someone and never lose.

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Old Post 08-25-2004 06:39 AM
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Alchemist
3 Coulombs

Registered: Apr 2002
Location: In your dreams
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quote:
Originally posted by aaqthree
Wow, I just read through this thread and some people completely miss the whole point of what growing up and coming of age actually is.

High school relationships aren't supposed to lead anyhwhere in particular - they're supposed to start to define your character. Just because you may never see someone again doesn't mean that they didn't mean anything to you, and that the time spent with each other meant nothing. It changes you, makes you realize things about yourself, and it still gives you lasting memories that you can share with someone and never lose.



They're also good for practice.

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Old Post 08-26-2004 07:06 PM
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wonmin
blah blahh blahhhhh!

Registered: Mar 2003
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hahahaha... my mom and dad wants me to get a girlfriend so badly...

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Old Post 08-27-2004 05:05 PM
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OnlyUrz4o1
Junior Member

Registered: Feb 2006
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I think your parents should be able to trust you. If not, I dun think you should give in, cuz it's your life. Try to convince dem that ur not those type of grls

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Old Post 02-17-2006 10:20 PM
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JuJu
shaKe :: sHake

Registered: May 2002
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i wonder how things are going now, seeing as this thread started back in 03, and you were 15 and its now 09 so you must be 20/21?

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