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I love my daddy
here's a short story that I just finished in an hour and thirty minutes... It's not the best story and I didn't spend much time on it buh please read it... most of it is true and some of it is fictional... the whole Uncle Yang part is fiction... other than that, everything else is true... damn, kinda sad when I read it buh mebbe I only get that affect because it happened to me and reading that brings back so many bad memories... I'm planning on modifying it so if you have any suggestions... I would really appreciate it! thanks! 
¡°Come here hun! I want you to meet your uncle from California,¡± My daddy said to me at a family reunion.
I walked up to my daddy and the uncle that I didn¡¯t know from California.
¡°This is your Uncle Yang. He used to live here when you were younger,¡± He then turned to my uncle. ¡°This is my oldest daughter, Kana.¡± My daddy smiled.
¡°Wow! You used to be so small,¡± Uncle Yang said to me, showing how small I was with his hand. ¡°I don¡¯t think you remember me but I used to live here when your mother and father were still married¡±
I stood there with a smile and nodded. I didn¡¯t know what to say. Uncle Yang turned back to my daddy and started talking to him about us. My daddy smiled happily, like he was proud that he raised me up to be such a good daughter. I looked at him and remembered all the other times that he had introduced me to our relatives. I still stood there stupidly not knowing what to do. Then my daddy started going on and on about before, when, and after I was born. I watched him as he spoke and he had a smile on his face with teary eyes.
I remember everything about when Kana was born. I was eighteen and her mother was only fourteen. We were really young and didn¡¯t know what we were getting ourselves into at that time. Good thing my mother was there to support and help us out. I remember when Kana was still in her mother¡¯s stomach, we were at a park and I got angry. So I decided that we should go home, so I helped her mother into the car and left. I was too angry so I let my emotions and feelings run over me and I wasn¡¯t watching the car in front of me, so I crashed into the car. Good thing it wasn¡¯t anything severe. Although, we had to go the hospital to see if everything was okay. I was so scared that something might have happened but the doctor said that everything was okay. That was the only major and scary thing that happened before Kana¡¯s birth.
A couple months later, Kana was born. Her mother was supposed to get C-section because Kana had not flipped around so her head would be towards the cervix. Her mother was too scared to go through with the surgery so she said that she would just push Kana out instead. Everyone was terrified with her mother¡¯s decision but decided to go along with it because there was nothing anyone could do to change her mind. Kana had come out butt first. During birth, there was a really good chance that Kana might¡¯ve not made it, but luckily God was there to guide us and help us. I prayed the whole time that everything would be okay. She came out fine. The only problem was that her legs didn¡¯t bend normally like all babies. Because of coming out butt first, her legs were bent upwards, and every time the nurses tried to wrap her up in the baby blanket with her legs down, she would cry in pain. So the nurses left her legs the way they were and didn¡¯t bother to wrap them down.
Finally, on the way back home, everyone was at my mother¡¯s house and waiting for Kana. She was the first baby of the family, so everyone was excited to see her. When we got to my mother¡¯s house, all my sisters and my brother ran up to see the newborn. They all kissed her and held her for a while. While I took her mother up to our bedroom, Kana was downstairs with her aunts and uncle. Her aunts and uncle adored her very much. She was cute, bald, had big eyes, and chubby cheeks. And she was a good baby.
A couple months passed by and my mother said that we had to get Kana¡¯s legs to bend like all the other children or else she might grow up to walk weird or even not be able to walk. It was an extremely sad thing for her mother to see. My mother would wrap Kana up tightly in a blanket with her legs bent normally, and Kana would cry with pain. I remember looking at Kana¡¯s mother that day and she looked like she was going to cry. I knew she couldn¡¯t stand seeing her first daughter being treated like that. She also told my mother to stop but my mother insisted and said that it would be best if we kept Kana wrapped like that so she can walk when she grows up. It was extremely painful for Kana¡¯s mother and I could tell.
Faster than ever, my daughter, Kana, was already two years old. Her mother loved watching karaoke videos and so Kana grew up to like watching those videos too. She was so young but she knew how to work the VCR. When Kana¡¯s mother went to school and I went to work, she would get the karaoke videos and put them into the VCR. Then she would dance and sing to them. We had all sorts of karaoke videos, ranging from Chinese karaoke videos to Indian videos. I remember one video in particular. It was of this little Chinese girl around the age of ten singing. Kana would slip that video into the VCR and sing along with what the little Chinese girl. ¡°Gong shi gong shi gong shi ni¡± was what she sang. She did the little actions that the Chinese girl did too.
I remember this other time, when I had made music videos for the songs that I wrote, and Kana watched it. It was just me and her in the house at the time and it was after her mother and I divorced. I put it on for her to watch while I was cooking for us. She got up with her little hat on her head and started dancing. I was too busy cooking to watch exactly what she was doing but when I came back, she had sat down and was crying. I asked her what was wrong and she told me that she saw me singing and knew the words I was saying and that¡¯s why she was crying. I felt so sad that day and I hugged her and wiped her tears away. I will never forget that day.
She loved singing and dancing and she still does. She has enrolled in Concert Choir, Show Choir, and Vocal Jazz this year.
When Kana turned five, she was very bossy. She liked things her way and if she didn¡¯t get things her way, she would cry. I think she was like that because we spoiled her so much. She got everything she wanted when she was younger. Even though she was bossy, she was very smart and curious about everything. Her questions annoyed all of her aunts and uncle.
I don¡¯t remember much about when she was living with her mother when we separated but I remember going to get her from her mother. That day I cried the whole way back home. Her mother was living in Milwaukee, Wisconsin at the time so I went there with my friend to pick Kana and her sisters up.
I have been through so many bad times in my life. I was too young to know that this would happen in the future and I rushed myself into doing something totally stupid. I¡¯m glad that I have Kana and her sisters as my daughters but I wish I knew better at the time. Don¡¯t get me wrong, I have many great memories of my three daughters but those great memories only exist for a while. They don¡¯t come back to mind like all those painful memories. The painful memories always come back because no one can forget all the depressing feelings it bestows upon them. Happiness is like medicine that makes us feel good only for a short amount of time, while sadness is like a disease that sticks with a person forever and never leaves.
My daddy¡¯s story made me cry. I sat there and cried the whole time. Not to mention, my daddy kept wiping his tears too. It was something that touched me a lot. That day, I thought to myself that my daddy loves me. Even though he doesn¡¯t say it to me or show that he loves me, I know that he loves me. Uncle Yang looked at me while I was wiping my tears.
¡°Your father loves you very much. I would expect you to love him back,¡± he advised me.
I nodded and wiped the rest of my tears that was flowing down my cheeks, then I got up and left.
That night, in my bedroom, I thought more about what had happened that day. I knew that some things had to change between my daddy and I, but I just didn¡¯t know what to change. I grew up with my daddy never telling me that he loved me or showing me the affection, so I felt I wouldn¡¯t be comfortable telling him about how I felt or show him any affection either. It¡¯s very hard for me to even have a good conversation with him. I finally realized that ever since I¡¯ve been growing up, he has been isolating himself from me. Every year, he would isolate himself more and more. That¡¯s why I¡¯m not so comfortable around him, talking to him about things, or even laughing along with him. I just wish I could have changed things. And now that I¡¯m older, I realize things that I never realized as a kid and it hurts me to know so much but not able to communicate well with him about these things. I have to admit, sometimes my actions to certain things shows that I don¡¯t care and I don¡¯t mean to do it on purpose. I just wish he knew. I love my daddy very much. He¡¯s my hero.
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09-20-2002 01:32 AM
