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psyTeK's story.
my relationship with my first girlfriend has finally come to a close, this night on December 8th.
what started out as a fun, exciting relationship declined into a complicated jumble of emotions and feelings. as we progressed, we both found out so much about the other person, as well as ourselves. through all of this, i have learned how jealous i am, how selfish i am, and how restless i am when it comes to this girl that i have been going out with for these past several months. no regrets, however, since you take what you learn and you use it to improve yourself for the better. i only wish i had learned these lessons faster, but as we will all find out, life does not comform to all of your desires.
we had our last conversation as boyfriend and girlfriend tonight, and we ended on as calm and friendly terms as possible. we never got into a single argument in our relationship, for which im proud, and its comforting to know our relationship did not end because of something petty like that. it ended for us because we are two different people who couldn't make things work simply because we didn't have a strong enough chemistry together to look past one another's differences.
tonight, we both acknowledged each other to be a great, good-hearted person. we both know it's true with all of our being. but two good people in this world aren't always meant to be for each other, and that is a wise thing to remember later on.
memories are all that is left now, half good, half bad... but the experience as a whole was worth it, and regrets will not be made anytime soon. we agreed to be friends, but not good friends as she requested from me, since i personally will find it hard to attach any more sentimental feelings to her after tonight.
life goes on, and so will I. the experience was rocky but enlightening. the results were harsh on my emotions, but good in a sense that through all of this i have learned qualities about myself i probably would have never been aware of if i didn't take part in this relationship.
we never kissed, and we never exchanged "i love you"s. she's extremely conservative (because she's a fob), but i wouldn't have wanted it any other way. the most we did was hold hands, but that was enough for the both of us. there was a good amount of maturity revolving around us, and i'm glad that she was the way she was, because i learned how to be patient and appreciative through her. qualities which younger teenagers these days seem to lose a grasp of as their hormones lead their actions in a relationship instead of their heart.
i'm jealous to think about who her next boyfriend is going to be. i've been jealous for as long as i have been going out with her, since i can tell you all with a bet on my own life that she is very... let's say aesthetically pleasing, heh. cute, pretty, whatever you perceived her to be. but what can i say. i can only hope her next boyfriend is as respectful or more respectful than i was to her. i know she probably wishes the same for me too.
this now-ended relationship is what my life was about for the past several months. it ended far from when i anticipated it to, but the point is i went into it knowing it was going to end one day. that's how this story goes, people. if one person pulled anything remotely useful from this, then my job is done.
face the facts, life goes on. i'm not exactly happy, but i am thankful that i got a chance to experience my first relationship with a great girl. you'd be surprised how many people can reflect back on their first relationship with the same kind of respect and thankfulness. they say you never forget your first love, and in a sense i find that true. however, i won't know until i'm old and grey if this girl was really my first "love". that is something only time can tell upon, but i'm willing to wait and see.
accept the circumstances life throws at you, and learn from the mistakes you make and the experiences you live through instead of bitchin' and moanin' about it to others and yourself. i wrote all of this to simply tell you about what i have learned, and obviously not for the reasons of soaking in self-depression and anger as some of you younger kids have a tendency of doing. no one likes a drama queen, remember that.
this is my story... get something from it if you can. peace.
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¢´ Face The Facts ¢´
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12-09-2002 03:55 AM
i've always wondered wat the infamous psytek was like, aside from the "fact the facts" stuff..... 
newayz, it was very enlightening on my part to see a "human" side of u! thanks for sharing ur story. i wish u the best of the luck in the future. 
