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LMAO read this, hilarious
lol funny ass story i got off AR
"I'm NEVER Gonna Service Myself In A Macy's Dressing Room Again"
Yesterday, after saying goodbye to my cousin at the airport, I went to the mall cause I wanted a new pair of jeans.
On my way to the mall, I went to Walgreens and picked up a Vanilla Coke. While I was at the store, I saw the issue of Maxim magazine. I decided to pick one up. I like reading their jokes. I put it in my back pocket and left for the mall.
So, I get to the mall, and I walk into Macy's. I was searching through the racks, and found a pair of pants. I wasn't sure how it would look on me, so I went into the dressing room. I hate hearing those bells that go off when you walk into a dressing room. It's annoying.
So I find a room, and I take off my pants to try on the new pants. My Maxim mag fell out on the floor. I forgot to leave it in the car. So I pick it up and lay it on the bench. As I put on my pants, I see the cover of the magazine staring right at me, with Anna Kournikova winking at me. She looked so hot on the cover. I was thinking, "Hmm, maybe a quick jerk wouldn't hurt." Though, I was acting all paranoid. I was thinking, "Maybe there are camaras in the dressing room. Of course that would be illegal, but you never know." I said, "F*ck it" and did it anyway. So, I jerk it for a couple minutes, and then I hear that stupid bell ring. I was getting a little bit scared, cause someone was coming in the dressing room. But once you start jerking it, it's kinda hard to stop, so I kept on going anyway.
Then I hear another bell ring. UGH! Not again. But I continue to service myself, I was focused on finishing. But this time, the person that came in was a handicapped person. And guess which stall I was in... THE HANDICAP STALL. Great... what are the chances of a handicapped person coming into a dressing room? A sales person was helping the handicapped person in the dressing room. She knocked on my door and said if I was done yet. I said "no" in a orgasmic manner because I was still jerking at the time. About 1 minute had passed and the lady still was waiting for me. WTF?!?!? Then, she told me to hurry up. I was like, WTF?!? Then, out of nowhere, she looks under the stall, where there's that little space that tells you if someone's in there, and sees me servicing myself. She screamed out, "What are you doing?!" I turn around and see her looking under the stall. I jumped up in the air as if the ground was fire, and hurry to get my pants on, but she was ready to call security. I grab my pants, open the door and try to get the heck out of there as quickly as possible. Because my pants wasn't on all the way cause I wanted to get the heck outta there, I tripped and fell right as I get outta the stall. My pants was to my ankles. I get up as quickly as possible and continue running out of the dressing room. As I run out of the dressing room, the stupid bell rings, attracting attention to myself, and everyone within a 20 feet radius looked my way, and what did they see? A "mini George Michael" running out of the dressing room in a hurry.
I was so embarrassed. I ran back to my car as quickly as possible and got the heck outta there.
Not only did I get caught servicing myself, but I left my Maxim magazine in the dressing room, and to top that off, I didn't even get to climax before I got caught.
What a bad day. Goodthing this didn't happen here in stockton
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11-01-2003 09:22 AM
