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The English Lesson
my english teacher handed it out today
written by.. (author unknown to me)
we'll begin with box and the plural is boxes
but the plural of ox should be oxen, not oxes
then one fowl is goose, but two are called geese
yet the plural of moose should never be meese
you may find a lone mouse or a whole lot of mice
but the plural of house is houses, not hice
if the plural of man is always called men
why couldnt the plural of pan be called pen?
the cow in the plural may be cows or kine
but the plural of vox is vows not vine
and i speak of a foot, and you show me your feet
but i give a boot -- would a pair be called beet?
if one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth
why shouldnt the plural of booth be called beeth?
if the singular is this and plural is these
why shouldnt the plural of kiss be nicknamed kese?
then one may be that and three may be those
yet the plural of hat would never be hose
we speak of a brother and also of brethren
but though we say mother we never say methren
the masculine pronouns are he, his, and him
but imagine the feminine she, shis, and shim
so our english i think you will all agree
is the trickiest language you ever did see
i take it you already know
of tough and bough and cough and dough?
others may stumble, but not you
on hiccough, thorough, slough, and through
well done! and now you wish, perhaps
to learn of less familiar traps?
beware of heard, a dreadful word
that looks like beard and sounds like bird
and dead; its said like bed, not bead
for goodness sake, dont call it deed!
watch out for meat and great and threat
(they rhyme with suite and straight and debt)
a moth is not a moth in mother
nor a both in bother, broth in brother
and there is not a match for there
and dear and fear for bear and pear.
and then theres dose and rose and lose
just look them up-- and goose and choose
and cork and work and card and ward
and font and front and word and sword.
and do and go, then thwart and cart
come, come, ive hardly made a start
a dreadful language? man alive,
id learned to speak it when i was five
and yet to write it, the more i sigh
ill not learn how 'til the day i die.
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12-05-2002 12:44 AM
