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Top 10 relationship wreckers
Whenever you break up with someone, it's normal to begin questioning behavior; you may wonder, for example, whether there were things that you could have done to avoid the split -- or if there were ways in which you might have hastened its arrival. If your current relationship is on the rocks, here are 10 things that might be at the root of your problems:
10. Looks that kill
Solid, long-lasting relationships are about far more than physical appeal. But men and women like eye candy, and if you are not attracted to your partner, chances are you will face an uphill battle. Yes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but if that beholder's eye is wandering, his feelings might not be far behind.
9. Someone else
Whether you want to admit it or not, the root of a relationship problem could very well have nothing to do with you. If your significant other is fancying someone else, then nothing you do can salvage the relationship until the third wheel is detached (unless she is interested in this someone else solely as a result of your lack of attention).
8. Lack of quality time
What you get out of relationships is a function of what you put into them, and if you refuse to spend time with one another, then chances are you are living on borrowed time. (And by "quality" I mean actually interacting with one another, not simply nodding and staring blankly.)
7. Distance
Long-distance relationships can work, and very well at that -- after all, absence can make the heart grow fonder. But there's also the "out of sight, out of mind" scenario, so be careful not to take things for granted. Call often, exchange email and trade pictures; go the extra mile and send her a homemade video to rekindle that old magic despite the miles. (Okay, maybe not THAT kind of video ...)
6. Goodbye to romance
Women love romance, as do men. Even if the respective definitions differ according to each gender, the genuine desire to feel loved and love someone in return is universal. Say goodbye to romance and you'll undoubtedly suffer the consequences.
5. "I want your sex"
Sex is a culmination of feelings, lust, love, and affection. It may take time to build up the right moment and sensations, but unless there is an improvement in communication, mutual satisfaction and a primal desire to please one another, your relationship will be shaky at best. Rock one another's world -- it can serve to patch things up and create a spark.
4. Jealousy
Jealousy stems from a lack of trust, a sense of possessiveness and paranoia. It can kill a relationship in a heartbeat. The problem with jealousy is that it represents an uphill battle on a slippery slope; no matter how much you try to gain traction, you end up slipping faster and further down.
3. Communication breakdown
I cannot stress this enough: relationships must be an exchange, a balance between two people and two perspectives. Next time you would like to say something but choose not to, remember that you are suffocating your love and stunting its growth.
2. Once a cheater, always a...
Infidelity sucks, as that moment of lust and passion will inevitably lead to remorse, pain, guilt, and tears for the other person. It also engenders a lack of trust and eternal resentment within the relationship. Best-case scenario: the person takes you back but throws it in your face when you most expect it. Worst-case scenario: they don't get mad -- they get even.
1. Noise
Noise is not just excess sound; it is anything that comes between the two of you. It could be family, friends, exes... any uncontrollable variable that tries to hinder your relationship. Eliminate the noise before you get elimidated.
Relationships need to be nurtured in order to grow. Just like people, when relationships are sick, there needs to be a diagnosis of the problem before finding a cure. Find out what the symptoms are, try to determine the cause, face it, address it, deal with it, and only then will you be able to make your relationship a long-term success.
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Last edited by krnxswat on 07-02-2003 at 01:14 AM
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07-02-2003 01:12 AM
