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-- putting em down easy... (https://www.jusunlee.com/forums/showthread.php?threadid=6766)

Posted by TyGer STyLe on 10-17-2002 04:13 AM:

putting em down easy...

how do you tell someone that has a crush on you, that you don't have any feelings for them what so ever? without hurting them...

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Posted by Jj2 on 10-17-2002 09:31 AM:

erm, how bout 'hey, i'm very flattered but...i'm not looking for a gf/bf right now. hope u understand' ??

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Posted by rhymester* on 10-17-2002 04:41 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Jj2
erm, how bout 'hey, i'm very flattered but...i'm not looking for a gf/bf right now. hope u understand' ??


that's wat i always use! or jus say you are already seeing someone.

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Posted by psyTeK ver. 2.0 on 10-17-2002 10:12 PM:

face the facts, sometimes lying IS the best option. saying you are interested in someone else is a clever and simple excuse among the many, since it is a method by which you don't have to let the person know that he/she is inadequate for you... instead by using that excuse, you form the illusion that he/she was just merely a little late in timing, and that someone else beat him/her to your interests. that way, his feelings of inferiority are kept to a bare minimum while at the same time you're letting him know your not interested without being too harsh.

lying about how you are currently seeing someone, however, is very retarded.

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Posted by jini on 10-17-2002 10:39 PM:

there's no easy way.... -_- whatever you say, it'll hurt em anyway.

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Posted by Nojeel on 10-17-2002 11:52 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by psyTeK ver. 2.0
face the facts, sometimes lying IS the best option. saying you are interested in someone else is a clever and simple excuse among the many, since it is a method by which you don't have to let the person know that he/she is inadequate for you... instead by using that excuse, you form the illusion that he/she was just merely a little late in timing, and that someone else beat him/her to your interests. that way, his feelings of inferiority are kept to a bare minimum while at the same time you're letting him know your not interested without being too harsh.

lying about how you are currently seeing someone, however, is very retarded.
so your saying that in this situation, misleading/lying to that individual is the best solution for them to not have their emotions hurted..hmm..we have all our own opinions, but to me..that's straight up lying. Personally if it was me..i would tell them the truth..that i am simply not interested. falsely telling them they are interested in someone else isn't really clever..either way..that individual will be hurt anyways..so mine as well tell the truth, that's my viewpoint though. if i were to say i had somebody else in mind..what message does it give to the person that is interested in me..all im doing is misleading that person even more, and yet..she could still have feelings for me. if your seriously not interested in her, tigerstyle..just tell her the truth..if you do..she'll lay off you..yes, most likely she will get hurt, but at least you told her the truth, its for her sake as well, but at least she will KNOW..saying that your infactuated by someone else isn't really gonna change her feelings.. she could say to herself that she can wait, or you'll eventually get over her, something like that..im just saying..in this situation..i think you should be honest with her

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Posted by psyTeK ver. 2.0 on 10-18-2002 01:53 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Nojeel
so your saying that in this situation, misleading/lying to that individual is the best solution for them to not have their emotions hurted..hmm..we have all our own opinions, but to me..that's straight up lying. Personally if it was me..i would tell them the truth..that i am simply not interested. falsely telling them they are interested in someone else isn't really clever..either way..that individual will be hurt anyways..so mine as well tell the truth, that's my viewpoint though. if i were to say i had somebody else in mind..what message does it give to the person that is interested in me..all im doing is misleading that person even more, and yet..she could still have feelings for me. if your seriously not interested in her, tigerstyle..just tell her the truth..if you do..she'll lay off you..yes, most likely she will get hurt, but at least you told her the truth, its for her sake as well, but at least she will KNOW..saying that your infactuated by someone else isn't really gonna change her feelings.. she could say to herself that she can wait, or you'll eventually get over her, something like that..im just saying..in this situation..i think you should be honest with her


i'm glad your into the whole "let's be honest with one another" thing, but in this case it doesn't work out that way. no matter how much you sugar-coat the truth, it still hurts. why lie? it's an easier way to solve things with as little emotional damage possible. the recepient of the rejection can choose to cling onto his/her feelings about you regardless if you told him/her the truth or a lie, so how can you say the person might still have feelings for you in only the situation where you told that person a lie? while lies may come in many different shapes and forms, this certain type is being used to end the matter, not to elongate it by misleading the individual any further. using a lie in this case is not selfish, and by all means it is in consideration of the other person's feelings.

here's an example for you: your denied the right to be the class representative in a decision made by the teacher. the teacher can tell you two things, one being that she thought you were unfit to fill the role, or the other being that she simply had another student ask her before you did. which way of turning you down out of those two replies would make you feel worse? yeah, exactly my point.

face the facts: the truth hurts. unless your some sort of barney-lovin' power ranger who worships his own morals, then i'm sure turning down someone with a lie is a small guilt you would be more than willing to bear if it was the easiest and least painful way of getting the message through. you can do it your way Nojeel, and i can do it my way. but in the end, which rejected person would be in a better emotional state? i don't know about you, but i'm willing to bet my left nut that mine would be better off.
in the world of putting someone down easy, the ends really do justify the means.

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Posted by aznkid1008 on 10-18-2002 02:06 AM:

omg u kno wat if u get through life witout gettin ur feelings hurt god blessed ur ass. how old is he/she? u kno wat DEAL WIT IT, rejection is apart of life whether u agree or not ur goin 2 hurt them so just say the truth. and if any girl says "thats not very nice" well guess wat nice=sugar coatin the painful truth. im not sayin be ruthless and slam it in his/her face just tell the truth. they go cryin or somethin well hell if it wasnt u someone else would later. and if they never were rejected giv them a rude awakenin

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Posted by KeN VeRsUs RyU on 10-18-2002 02:44 AM:

well i think it all depends

bending the truth and conjuring up fictional stories(pretend boyfriend or girlfriend) are two totally different things.
but i sort of agree that u should approach the situation using one of the two or a mix of both. but i would suggest the first one and use a bit of tact. cuz you're dealing with emotions here people.

i was always a firm believer in honesty. it might be a lil hard but thats what life is. some people might soften the blow but others will knock you da fuck out. thats just life. how you decide is your decision depending upon what kind of person you are. i believe our actions reflect the person we really are. if you do asshole things.. you are an asshole surprise surprise. if you letem down assholey surprise surprise you are an asshole. im hoping the one who's in love with you knows that too. but probably not since they are clouded with lust, love, etc.

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Posted by TyGer STyLe on 10-18-2002 03:25 AM:

puahahaha... wow... well... fact is i just wanted to know how you guys feel about lettin people down easy... i have come across a few situations like that in the past that is... but i used the "honesty method" i was just wondering what other people thought was the best way... nemore suggestions?

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Posted by Nojeel on 10-18-2002 07:41 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by psyTeK ver. 2.0

here's an example for you: your denied the right to be the class representative in a decision made by the teacher. the teacher can tell you two things, one being that she thought you were unfit to fill the role, or the other being that she simply had another student ask her before you did. which way of turning you down out of those two replies would make you feel worse? yeah, exactly my point.
i understand your point..but yet, think about this, this is an example to you. if your girlfriend was being unfaithful to you, don't you have the right to know? would you rather her say that she's not and she would never do such a thing, lying to you, just so that you won't get hurt? what if you if find out from someone else, or if you find out yourself. either way you would be hurt, yes. you mentioned that teling the truth would still hurt that individual..i never said it wouldn't. so your saying by bullshitting and lying that your gonna hurt the person less, emotionally. yes i agree with you on that, most likely it will. but as you and me both stated.. telling the truth would also hurt them.. so if both ways that person is gonna get emotionally disrupted why not just tell the truth then? your being honest to yourself and to that person.

maybe it is in the best interest for that individual to be lied to, yea, just so that they won't get hurt. but i think that's full of shit. lies equals up to more lies..why do it? yea and im not gonna say im a fucking angel and a saint. i've lied before as well..im sure everyone has, just trying to make a point ya know..deceiving people..especially with their emotions..i just straight up think that's wrong...

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Posted by rhymester* on 10-19-2002 07:42 AM:

well call me a liar but i usually say i'm seeing someone else XP... i jus dont have the heart to say i'm not interested >_<'...

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Posted by Jj2 on 10-19-2002 10:56 AM:

i could never lie...i always end up saying that i'm not interested in him

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maybe the best of things,
and no good thing ever dies."

Posted by Street RSX on 10-20-2002 05:53 PM:

if that happenz.. i stand der fer a while.. than RUN!! hahahaa... i did it twice.. im so mean!! haha

Posted by eddiee on 10-20-2002 05:55 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Street RSX
if that happenz.. i stand der fer a while.. than RUN!! hahahaa... i did it twice.. im so mean!! haha



LOL....

Posted by TyGer STyLe on 10-20-2002 09:50 PM:

PUAHAHA...

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Posted by aznkid1008 on 10-21-2002 12:54 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Street RSX
if that happenz.. i stand der fer a while.. than RUN!! hahahaa... i did it twice.. im so mean!! haha

the moral of this story is to run away from all ur problems

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Posted by Street RSX on 10-21-2002 01:00 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by aznkid1008

the moral of this story is to run away from all ur problems


haha yup!!! cuz yoo dun kno how they feel after yoo run!! itz like if yoo say sum excuse in front of them.. they start feelin all down.. and yoo feel badd.. buh if yoo run, yoo cant see their ex[ression on their face.. see i thought this all out!!!

Posted by aznkid1008 on 10-21-2002 02:40 AM:

i would hav 2 agree wit Jon hyung on this topic. truth is the sure way that u wont hav anythin come back and bite u in the ass. its the best way 2 go. u take no chances of anythin and if that person hates u after u dump them well heck u didnt like them anyway so screw them

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the fool is the one who thinks he is wise, yet the wise one is the one who thinks he is a fool

Remember the heros
Remember the lives
Remember the day
God bless

Posted by yur_swt_angel on 10-21-2002 05:06 AM:

the truth will set yu free [;
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