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Posted by Ladi Jay on 08-01-2002 12:55 AM:

...Parents...

Iono if there is a thread like this already, buh I'll make my own.

What I hate about asian parents is that they're not very supportive of what our dreams are. For instance, my dream is to become a singer in the long run, buh my parents aren't supportive of my dream and they don't motivate me to pursue my dream. I love to sing. It's practically my life... That and dancing... heh... But anyways... sometimes parents just get on my nerves...

Ever notice how they always yell at you when you do something wrong and they never say "That was good!" or "Nice job!" when you do something good??? I'm sure a lot of us have parents like that... I mean, how do they expect us to do good when they constantly yell at us and never say "That was good!" or "Nice job!"??? I think the negative feedback makes us feel worse and useless... You know? Like we're not motivated to do what we want then, and we're afraid to do things because if we do it wrong, they'll yell...

And I have to rant for us first borns in the family... The oldest kids... We get yelled at for all the shit that goes on... Even if it's not our fault, they find a way to track it down to us. For instance, my sisters go out to play a lot... so my dad blames me because I don't tell them to stay home... Another example, I plucked my eyebrows... now my sisters pluck theres... so my dad says that they are doing exactly what I'm doing and that I'm a bad ro-model... WTF? So what if my sister's look up to me.. and besides, most girls, nowadays, plucks their eyebrows... There are soo many other examples that I can give you buh I don't wanna go there... We get the blame for everything... mebbe that's why we're kinda mean to our younger siblings... Don't get me wrong, there are good things to being the oldest... (Tim ah- I'm a "dictator")

argh... iono what I'm ranting about really... I guess I just think that it's kinda mean of parents to not motivate and support their kids... I just needed to get this off my chest (to Tim-ah... breasts) LOL... so yeah! that's my rant

I dunno if this makes any sense to you guys so yeah... I can't seem to find the words to get my point across... :huh:

Posted by Nojeel on 08-01-2002 01:00 AM:

doode..i know how you feel..like literally..but them not giving me compliments when i do something good..yea that pisses me off..but im like..* ok then, i'll do something really impressive.. and if you dont like it..too bad* cause the world might like it and not your parents..get my drift..i know my parents don't really motivate me too much..that's why i do shiet on my own..all i got to say is.. *prove them wrong* and later on in life..make them wanna say.. * i should have motivated you and helped push you harder so that you can be what you are today, a successful, and talented person* ya feel me? don't worry one of these its gonna happen..just do what you want to do..what makes you happy..later on they'll understand..

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Posted by indecisive on 08-01-2002 01:04 AM:

I think everybody wif asian parents knows what U're talking about julie.

I'm the youngest so I don't think I get yelled at as badly cuz I learn from my siblings mistakes.

the thing I hate most is that when your parents have a clear favourite. my 3rd oldest sister(my dad's favourite) can get away with almost anything and my dad won't ever say a word. but if the other kids do something we're scolded. ya know?

I think your parents are being "unsupportive"(I really dont' think they're being truely unsupportive julie) because they dont' wanna see their daughter fail. even though they can see taht it's your passion they still wanna protect you from the harshness of failure. so they try to encourage you to pursue a different path that will have a higher percentage of success. and also because U're the oldest they worry more about you and how you'll turn out because there's no previous example for them to help them guide U.

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"cuz no matter how long U've known them or how well U think U know them..the friendship can be over in a second" ~Indecisive

"you don't realize how much of a luxury cup holders are until you don't have em" ~Indecisive

Posted by Ladi Jay on 08-01-2002 01:15 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by indecisive
pursue


puhahaha... I was right then?

buh anyways... I get what you guys mean... totally... buh sometimes it's just so hard... it's like... "argh, I wanna get away from everything..."

Posted by Nojeel on 08-01-2002 01:32 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by RaCeR_LaDi_MoOn


puhahaha... I was right then?

buh anyways... I get what you guys mean... totally... buh sometimes it's just so hard... it's like... "argh, I wanna get away from everything..."
trust me..i know what you mean..you have to calm down at those type of situation..at times like that...you just have to relax..i know its hard..but crying sometimes help..you know..just letting everything out..it might actually let you feel better..i wouldn't reccomend talking about to some people..cause it might be hard for them to relate/comprehend what your going through..and in fact..i can make you reminicense about shiet..and make you feel even worse..my solution is basically..just closing my eyes and listening to slow jams.. or you can look at a photo album or something..or think about events which was great..like funny moments, happy moments and stuff..just dont let that kind of shiet bother you..cause it can eat you up alive..k.. so cheer up jewels! :thumbup:

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Posted by UnisMuiMui on 08-01-2002 02:41 AM:

aaiyya... azn parents!!!
wellll i'm not the oldest.. i'm the middle child.. and my parents treat me like the oldest becuz they know i'm more mature than me sis and they know i have more street smart, etc. soooooo its NOT just the oldest who get yell at alot... depends on the family. in my case, i have most of the responsibilities. i said dis before in dis forum but... my parents were gone for 2 weeks on a missions trip to saipan (they just came back today) and whenever they call to check up on us, they always tell me to make sure to do dis and dat... and when they talk to my older sis, they dun tell her to do nething. my older sis messed up alot.. in life... in general.. so i guess my parents feel like they messed up on her so i'm the target now my mom told me once...... dat i'm her "perfect angel"..... and she wants me to stay dat way forever!! so there's alot of stress and pressure on me.... becuz if i mess up just ONCE, the whole world will fall apart for them... mainly becuz they have dis constant thinking dat i will NEVER mess up becuz i'm so mature, street smart, etc. but the truth is, nobody's PERFECT. i'm not as perfect as they think i am. and when i do mess up, its downward from there....... :huh:

well julie....... all i wanna say is....... ur not alone! ur not the only one! sooo... at least there are other people out there dat are worse than u!!

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Posted by Crazydeb8ter on 08-01-2002 03:50 AM:

i get yelled at more cause my bro is some damn prodigy

4.0 and higher gpa all throughout middle and high school, 1550 or something on his SAT, all his SatIIs were 750+, and got early acceptance into UC Berkeley.

How the hell am I supposed to beat that?

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"The weight of this sad time we must obey,/ Speak what we feel, not what we ought to say./ The oldest hath borne most; we that are young/ Shall never see so much, nor live so long."
King Lear (V.3.300-304)

Posted by junjinluber33 on 08-01-2002 05:11 AM:

omgosh! weerrrdddd julie! haha!! man... i asked my mom if i could audition and she's all NO~ n blahhh!! i have hook ups too! :sad: so then like a month or two later i asked her if i could be a backdancer. n she's like... nooo~ you still have your education n blah blah blah... lecture lecture. buh seriously. sucks when they want me to become something that they wanted to be when they were little. thats just wrong. they dont think i can get into college!!! im getting Az!!! so what's the deal?!! dont need to worry... jeez~

another thing i hate about korean parents (being specific) is the way they talk about my friends. i mean, she likes them buh when i stay a lil late n come home ish like, i dont want you hanging around with *$%&#~ just cuz like, they dont have one or both parents in their life. that is just JACKED! that is judging which is a total SIN! yet they all go to church every sunday knowing that they are judging/sinning. pisses me off man.... so what if they dont have a parent? i know someone that has both parents and is a total jackass. fails in school, and is... a total jackass~ grrrr*

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Posted by indecisive on 08-01-2002 05:32 AM:

I dunno what's worse...having your parents judge your friends or being compared to your friends.... I hate both

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"cuz no matter how long U've known them or how well U think U know them..the friendship can be over in a second" ~Indecisive

"you don't realize how much of a luxury cup holders are until you don't have em" ~Indecisive

Posted by jini on 08-01-2002 05:41 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Crazydeb8ter


4.0 and higher gpa all throughout middle and high school, 1550 or something on his SAT, all his SatIIs were 750+, and got early acceptance into UC Berkeley.

How the hell am I supposed to beat that?



HOLY crap.... son of a................ *pulls out hair* OMG


n i've realized... i see a lot of people like that..4.0, unbeatable SAT score, acceptance to a good college.
they were born to be like that. i could try n try but i still wouldn't be as good as that.
but try to beat it another way.. that's what i'm figuring out how to do.

and if my mom brings up n compares me... i juss yell at her back. i did it once.. went crazy n told her exactly how i felt (jin jja sok shi won hae ssuh) .. she doesn't compare me to anyone else anymore.

but i think i kno why azn parents yell at their oldest child for no reason. it's because they juss wanna get their stress out, i doubt they kno what their saying.. or even mean it.
after me n my mom left the house... we grew more close together, n i figured out that whenever she's mad at me for something..... she brings up the WEIRDEST stuff, a bunch of crap that doesn't make any sense. she doesn't really mean it.
i juss let things cool off...

n... about the auditions n stuff. i think the reason of that is because most of the korean parents gave up their lives in korea to come here to give their children a better life.. n they think that success only comes from a good education. they just don't want you to suffer the way that they had to.


it REALLY sucks when there's no one to support you, but if YOU think it's right.. support yourself. i'd like to hear my so-called father actually congradulating me for something, ANYTHING. it sucks feeling unappreciated.. but work hard... n SHOW THEM WHAT YOU'RE CAPABLE OF.




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Posted by junjinluber33 on 08-01-2002 06:27 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by indecisive
I dunno what's worse...having your parents judge your friends or being compared to your friends.... I hate both

ahh! i hate both too indy! grrr.... my friends dont really get good grades so my mom compares me to my cousin that got a 4.28 gpa average when she graduated. csf seal barrer n scholarship honor crap stuff. hahah~ iuno.... i REALLY wanna show my parents off... buh its hard to totally focus your brains on one thing~ esp. when its studying

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Posted by castle outsider on 08-01-2002 07:27 AM:

i guess asian parents just want their kids to become successful when theyre all grown up and singing and dancing are things that are hard to be good at since theres so much competition.

my parents are somewhat supportive of me because i just want to be a rich doctor or something and that type of job basically depends on your grades at school..something im good at.

overall asian parents are really stressful about a lot of things and are nothing compared to white or whatever other types of parents out there

and that can be good

Posted by tea on 08-01-2002 07:32 AM:

i am distant from my parents...i dont even live with em

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Posted by junjinluber33 on 08-01-2002 10:46 PM:

man... just wait till i get into college~ wOoHoO! partying it whenever i can... buh then... i gotta study too~

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Posted by jini on 08-01-2002 10:49 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by junjinluber33
man... just wait till i get into college~ wOoHoO! partying it whenever i can... buh then... i gotta study too~



hell yea...

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aim: baibeexjini
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wherever you go, whatever you do
i will be right here waiting for you
whatever it takes or how my heart breaks
i will be right here waiting for you

Posted by Ladi Jay on 08-02-2002 06:57 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by junjinluber33
man... just wait till i get into college~ wOoHoO! partying it whenever i can... buh then... i gotta study too~


Hell yeah Cathy... You all know what I'm about!!! puhaha

Buh I feel so much better now... being able to vent things out... I feel relieved... at least from one thing... I mean, sometimes... I get so angry at my parents... buh then again, I love them so much too... There has been so many things in my life that involve problems and situations that I don't ever wanna go through again... and I think mebbe that's why they're like they are... get what I mean...

And I do agree that mebbe they aren't as supportive of me wanting to be a singer because it's so hard to become one and get good pay...

Posted by pUcCa_sTaR on 08-10-2002 07:40 AM:

yup yup...i knoe how yooh guyz/galz feel...mai older sista did bad in skool, so mai parentz expect mee to do betta...itz sho annoying...also, mai parentz are making mee studie s.a.t. (arghness) so i can be "prepared" and i hate when asian prentz compare to other teens...like if an asian guy/gal is in the newsapaper for getting lyke a scholarship or sumthig, they start comparing...also i hate it when yur cuzinz are smarter than yooh..yur parents alwayz alwayz alwayz comparez...getz reallie annoying...

Posted by TyGer STyLe on 08-10-2002 10:40 AM:

ahh... its not all that bad... well never mind it is... i get the most heat from my parents... im like the black sheep of the family... well I AM the black sheep of the family... its been like family tradition to go to WHITNEY H.S. haha its a school where only the elite students of the area go... all my cousins and my brother have been successful in their high school careers... execept for me.... hahaha i go to a ghetto school... but its all koo, i wouldn't change it for anything, cuz yah knoe... i think ive met so much more ppl then i would have ever met at whitney... i mean.. who wants to kick it wit a buncha nerds anyway?

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Posted by HHxEliTE on 08-11-2002 03:12 AM:

i know wuh u mean... iss hard sometimes.. i told my mom that i wanted to work as a bartender like part-time.. and she told me to forget about that dream

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Posted by daNNy LuV 1TYM on 08-12-2002 07:40 AM:

racer i can totally relate...same situations. oldest, highest expectations, being crapped on for everything. mai dream is also to be a singer...but of course mai parents don't approve. they dun approve of any of mai dreams (novelist, for one). they dun even want me to be a lawyer or doctor cuz they sed i'd work too hard. so wth do they want??? they make me go

but i noe they love me and i love so much. they just want the best for me and like indecisive sed, they dun wanna see me fail. but dun worri racer, if it wuz meant to be, u will becum a singer

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