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-- on the brink of divorce?... (https://www.jusunlee.com/forums/showthread.php?threadid=9139)

on the brink of divorce?...

my parents have been fighting on and off for years now but the have alway made up..this year however, things seem to be different..they dont sleep in the same room, they barely talk to each other and if they do its usually when they bicker..my dad has told me how annoyed he is with my mother but i kno deep down he's hurt and my mom complains about how tired she is of my dad..my parents arent fans of confrontation so is there anything i can do? all i can think of is jus sit there and listen and try to be on my best behavior..they're not planning to get a divorce anytime soon unless its under reasonable circumstance (ie: someone has an affair) because my brother is still young..but i feel so useless..and torn..is divorce the only solution? should i suggest a marriage counselor? should i us throw them in a room together and make them work their probs out? im so confused

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im sorry about the family problems ... i'm afraid i dont have much advice to the right solution .. i stand against divorce .. i mean ... it's just really sad .. and plus your brother is young .. and it'd be difficult for him to understand at such a young age ..

i think counseling is a reasonalbe solution .. but i think it would be best if one of your parents start the conversation first .. i mean if you say that your dad feels deep down that he's hurt .. he must want to talk things over with you mom .. and vice versa ..

just because they bicker and complain doesn't mean that they still dont love each other ...

im sure theres still hope ...

There are always certain elements in each situation that makes divorce cases different... I believe that if the parents decide to divorce, they have to put their kids before them before they think about themselves... I speak from experience...

My parents divorced when I was young so they didn't know what they were overcasting upon me and my two younger sisters... I grew up without a real mom to teach me things, to help me through puberty, menstruation, and to actually be a real mom who will actually show me the love and affection that I need... I didn't get that from my mother now and I'm sure I'll never feel what a real mom can give me... I'm sure all kids need love and affection in order to understand it...

But, if the case is as serious as physical abuse towards either parent (or kids), affair, or any other reason that is as serious as these two... divorce is the best solution... in those cases, the parents can put themselves before the kids...

Illmatic, if your parents can't get along, they can't get along... others pushing them to find a resolution to their bickering will perhaps make them angry... it is a fact that people don't like to do what others tell them to do, in any case... and marriage counselors... no one likes to admit that they need a counselor, even if they really DO need one...

There isn't really much you can do but keeping them optimistic about things... don't do things that will make them argue, make sure they don't do things that will make each other angry... I'm not telling you to baby them, all I'm saying is put a little effort into their problems and show that you care they're argueing... that it hurts you... Maybe that'll kick some sense into them...

I didn't intend for this to be so long but as I wrote my thoughts, more things came to mind... If you need more help, just PM me!

mai parents used to fight constantly too. i wuz pretty young i guess (10-ish) but i used to get so fed up with their yellin that i actualli wished they wud divorce so they wud shut up. but that wuz all in the past and i'm sure glad they didn't. to me, divorce is alwaize the FINAL resort. wen u get married, it's for better or worse. u can't just giv up every time there's a lil problem; u gotta stik these things thru and try to work them out. ur parents may hav problems that dun require an easy solution, so i'm not sayin wutevr ur goin thru is trivial or nethin; i'm juss sayin they shud try to resolve wutevr the problem is before they make such a big decision. if they truly loved u and ur sib(s), they wud think of u guys first before doin this. tell that to them.
if i were u, i wud either force them to get together and talk out wutevr the prob is OR, if i were too chikn, i'd get mai uncle or their frend or another adult whom i realli trusted and knew mai parents realli well to try to get them to resolve it. thaz wut i wud do, but i dunno if it'd help....i hope everythin works out for u