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-- 3 jokes (https://www.jusunlee.com/forums/showthread.php?threadid=2835)

3 jokes

If you think life is bad...how would you like to be an egg? you only get laid once. you get eaten once. it takes 4 minutes to get hard. only 2 minutes to get soft. you share your box with 11 other guys. but worst of all...the only chick that ever sat on your face was your mother!!! so cheer up. Your life aint that bad!!!

This is the actual radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October1995. Radio conversation released by the chief of naval operations, 10-10-95.
CANADIANS: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
AMERICANS: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision.
CANADIANS: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15degrees to the south to avoid a collision. AMERICANS: This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
CANADIANS: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.
AMERICANS: This is the Aircraft Carrier US LINCOLN, the second largest ship in the United States Atlantic Fleet. We are accompanied with three Destroyers, three Cruisers and numerous support vessels. I DEMAND that you change your course 15 degrees north. I say again, that's one-five degrees north, or counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.
CANADIANS: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

A Rich Millionaire decides to throw a massive party for his fiftieth birthday, so during this party he grabs the mic and he announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it. I will give anything they desire of mine, to the man who swims across that pool. So the party continues with no events in the pool, until SUDDENLY, there is a great splash and all the guests of the party run to the pool to see what has happened, and in the pool is a man and he is swimming as hard as he can. The fins come out of the water and the jaws are snapping and this guy just keeps ongoing. The sharks are gaining on him and this guy reaches the end and he gets out of the pool, wet and soaked. The millionaire grabs the mic and says, "I am a man of his word, anything of mine I will give, my Ferraris, my house, absolutely anything, for you are the bravest man I have ever seen." "So sir what will it be?" the millionaire asks. The guy grabs the mic and says, "Why don't we start with the name of the bastard that pushed me in!"

Re: 3 jokes

quote:

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Originally posted by daNNy LuV 1TYM
If you think life is bad...how would you like to be an egg? you only get laid once. you get eaten once. it takes 4 minutes to get hard. only 2 minutes to get soft. you share your box with 11 other guys. but worst of all...the only chick that ever sat on your face was your mother!!! so cheer up. Your life aint that bad!!!

This is the actual radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October1995. Radio conversation released by the chief of naval operations, 10-10-95.
CANADIANS: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
AMERICANS: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision.
CANADIANS: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15degrees to the south to avoid a collision. AMERICANS: This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
CANADIANS: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.
AMERICANS: This is the Aircraft Carrier US LINCOLN, the second largest ship in the United States Atlantic Fleet. We are accompanied with three Destroyers, three Cruisers and numerous support vessels. I DEMAND that you change your course 15 degrees north. I say again, that's one-five degrees north, or counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.
CANADIANS: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

A Rich Millionaire decides to throw a massive party for his fiftieth birthday, so during this party he grabs the mic and he announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it. I will give anything they desire of mine, to the man who swims across that pool. So the party continues with no events in the pool, until SUDDENLY, there is a great splash and all the guests of the party run to the pool to see what has happened, and in the pool is a man and he is swimming as hard as he can. The fins come out of the water and the jaws are snapping and this guy just keeps ongoing. The sharks are gaining on him and this guy reaches the end and he gets out of the pool, wet and soaked. The millionaire grabs the mic and says, "I am a man of his word, anything of mine I will give, my Ferraris, my house, absolutely anything, for you are the bravest man I have ever seen." "So sir what will it be?" the millionaire asks. The guy grabs the mic and says, "Why don't we start with the name of the bastard that pushed me in!"

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immagijibae: seons a hoeeeeeee, he wears them g-strings, and i also knowwwww, they hurt his dinga-lings~ la l alalala~ nanannan~ oh~ seons a hoeeeeee, he wears them g-strings..............
immagijibae: liiiiiiiiiiiiiike my new 1-minute-made-up song???????

puhaha... the millionaire one is so funny... puhaha...

quote:

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Originally posted by RaCeR_LaDi_MoOn
puhaha... the millionaire one is so funny... puhaha...

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skandaluss