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-- take two. (https://www.jusunlee.com/forums/showthread.php?threadid=11782)

take two.

heres another journal entry of mine dated march 24.

quote:

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I saw a recent picture of that girl that I used to like for so long back in Taiwan - she didn’t change much – but I realized that she isn’t as pretty as I thought she was. In fact, if I were to have met her for the first time today, I don’t think I would have had the same feelings for her that I did back then. I’d go as far and say that she’s below average, appearance wise.

I’m pretty sad, because much of my idea of an ideal girl that I have is from her and who she was. I remember thinking a while ago whether or not she was the girl in my memories that i idealized, and even played around the idea that she probably wasn’t. But knowing now that she isn’t, isn’t a feeling too great.

I thought she was one of the prettiest girl I knew. In fact, she was the prettiest girl I knew back then. I guess it was because there weren’t many girls to begin with to compare, my grade only having 25 students. I didn’t really know what ‘pretty’ meant. Makes me wonder if I still don’t. I’ve been told by friends that I don’t know how to look, when it comes to girls. Maybe they’re right. Maybe I’m still lost; maybe I just don’t know enough girls, to know what pretty means.

I had a dream that following night. I was back in Taiwan. She was there too. But whereas my previous dreams about Taiwan were nostalgic, the mood was different this time. There was a sense of despair, of uneasiness and hesitance that kept lingering in my mind. I woke up strangely disturbed.

I wish I never saw that picture of her. Only then would I still be happy in my ignorance.

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dunno wat to say to something like that

__________________


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second chance to see truth.

You know my first love was that way. I thought she was perfect...I thought she was everything I wanted. But she wasn't...and I realized that a long time after the 'separation,' you can call it. What weighed me down was my idea of who she became, though. I still had an image of her...and I think I overexagerated...made her prettier, her personality...made her more kind/gentle/funny/graceful...some things that made me hold on to her.

Perhaps this is where you and I differ, but I didn't really know her. After a long time, even after seeing her again, I realized I fell in love with an Ideal. The person I created in my head. egad...kind of makes me feel a little uneasy about love and things...but I'm glad I got that second look at her...I'm glad that that second chance to see her helped me understand that I've grown to love different aspects in women. I try not to make the same mistake in falling in love too quickly now. I think I'm on a tangent. But I hear you man, and I just want to say...I understand more and more everyday that my friends and I have different tastes in women...sure we agree that Catherine Zeta Jones is hot...but I don't agree that Penelope Cruz is beautiful...But I still know what pretty means. Whatever to me is pretty...well...is.

Even if you've not seen "many pretty girls," perhaps you're still refining your definition of pretty. I think I am. Actually, I know I am.

uoi, it's 3 a.m. ...I'm just lost in thoughts...

Re: second chance to see truth.

quote:

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Originally posted by lostadonis
You know my first love was that way. I thought she was perfect...I thought she was everything I wanted. But she wasn't...and I realized that a long time after the 'separation,' you can call it. What weighed me down was my idea of who she became, though. I still had an image of her...and I think I overexagerated...made her prettier, her personality...made her more kind/gentle/funny/graceful...some things that made me hold on to her.

Perhaps this is where you and I differ, but I didn't really know her. After a long time, even after seeing her again, I realized I fell in love with an Ideal. The person I created in my head. egad...kind of makes me feel a little uneasy about love and things...but I'm glad I got that second look at her...I'm glad that that second chance to see her helped me understand that I've grown to love different aspects in women. I try not to make the same mistake in falling in love too quickly now. I think I'm on a tangent. But I hear you man, and I just want to say...I understand more and more everyday that my friends and I have different tastes in women...sure we agree that Catherine Zeta Jones is hot...but I don't agree that Penelope Cruz is beautiful...But I still know what pretty means. Whatever to me is pretty...well...is.

Even if you've not seen "many pretty girls," perhaps you're still refining your definition of pretty. I think I am. Actually, I know I am.

uoi, it's 3 a.m. ...I'm just lost in thoughts...

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__________________
"Truth transcends fact."

"Truth is not determined by how many people believe it."

"All the darkness in the world can not extinguish the light of a single candle."

that's the only reason you liked her? you fool!


i'll share a story.. this is from my profile created about two years ago.. i keep forgetting i have this in my profile. random girls keep iming me wondering if i saw her again.


Name: It was just another summer day. I decided to spend it at my favorite pcbang wasting away the day by playing juvenile games just
Location: to satisfy the kid in me. I was busy with my little game when my stomach told me it ws feeding time. So I hopped on over to the local SUBWAY to make my stomach happy with a sub. I paid for my 12 inch sub and eagerly waiting to devour it, i walked
Marital Status: back to my second home not
Hobbies & Interests: worrying about anything except the noises of my hungry stomach. I was in the middle of crossing the busy korean street of Ft. Lee when i noticed someone in the corner of my eye. She was about 5' 8". Tall for a korean girl. But more like a
Favorite Gadgets: woman. She wore a baby blue sweater button with a floral skirt. She had her hair up and the wind seemed like it was dying to
Occupation: tug it just to see how it would look with her hair down. I was so engulfed by her beauty i almost got hit by a car.
Personal Quote: Embarassed, i ran back to my friends and raved about this beautiful woman i've seen at the local bakery. After that i wasnt really hungry. I have witnessed true beauty. I hope i see you again one day. And i hope this time the wind will win.-Sang C Park
Hometown HomePage: http://hometown.aol.com/kenversusryu/

i just copied n pasted.

if i see her again she'll prolly have a man voice or something... so i'll just keep her in my memory and chalk one for "beauty"

__________________

xanga.com/an1_mixtape

Re: Re: second chance to see truth.

quote:

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Originally posted by merc
"...falling in love too quickly..."
check yourself. make sure your not just dealing with infatuation.

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quote:

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Originally posted by KeN VeRsUs RyU
Name: It was just another summer day. I decided to spend it at my favorite pcbang wasting away the day by playing juvenile games just
Location: to satisfy the kid in me. I was busy with my little game when my stomach told me it ws feeding time. So I hopped on over to the local SUBWAY to make my stomach happy with a sub. I paid for my 12 inch sub and eagerly waiting to devour it, i walked
Marital Status: back to my second home not
Hobbies & Interests: worrying about anything except the noises of my hungry stomach. I was in the middle of crossing the busy korean street of Ft. Lee when i noticed someone in the corner of my eye. She was about 5' 8". Tall for a korean girl. But more like a
Favorite Gadgets: woman. She wore a baby blue sweater button with a floral skirt. She had her hair up and the wind seemed like it was dying to
Occupation: tug it just to see how it would look with her hair down. I was so engulfed by her beauty i almost got hit by a car.
Personal Quote: Embarassed, i ran back to my friends and raved about this beautiful woman i've seen at the local bakery. After that i wasnt really hungry. I have witnessed true beauty. I hope i see you again one day. And i hope this time the wind will win.-Sang C Park
Hometown HomePage: http://hometown.aol.com/kenversusryu/

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quote:

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Maybe I’m still lost; maybe I just don’t know enough girls, to know what pretty means.

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Lostadonis I know completely and unequivocally what you're going through. I entered into the relationship with my first love full of hope and pride. Now, after the 'separation' (which wasn't a clear-cut event, the worst kind) I have to re-evaluate what I look for in a partner, and in myself. Would I wish that I never met her? Maybe, but at the same time I consider it a crucial learning experience for me, both for my disillusionment and in the chance to share true happiness with someone else, no matter how brief it turned out to be.

__________________
"Wave of mutilation."
-The Pixies