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Posted by micron on 01-24-2003 07:28 AM:

crying.

theres been a lack of activity in this forum lately..

this forum was specificlaly created so that members can share their experiences and shed light to who they are, as individuals and real people, and not just strangers behind a computer screen who happen to bump into one another because of this site.. a place where people can get to know one another in a more intimate level.

i guess that hasnt been happening, so i will set presidence and start.. heres a brief journal entry of mine dated jan 19, 03.

before i begin, i brief background about myself.. i kept a journal ever since coming to america. i suppose i started it because i didnt know anyone here and needed an outlet to express and voice my opinions. but even after befriending many people, i found writing in my journal to be more comforting than sharing with others. i guess the journal has become some sort of a 'teddy bear figure' for me.. where i can openly share everything about myself without having to worry about being judged or laughed at. theres a lot more to why i keep a journal, but that isnt the purpose of this post.. maybe you'll be able to understand more about that aspect through my other entries that i might post up in the future. but anyways, heres the entry..

quote:
My parents lived in china as missionaries most of my high school years until recently. During that time my older brother and I lived by ourselves in America in a little studio. We had to adjust our lives drastically and life was pretty harsh for the first few months. Having to take on full adult responsibilities at such a young age, alongside that of a student, at times became overwhelming. I used to cry a lot that first month living on our own. But I always did so in the bathroom where I turned on the shower to muffle my cries from my brother.

Its funny, because when I was little, around 4, my mom told me a really sad story about little frogs that never listened to their mother, doing the opposite of whatever their mother instructed them to do. I was teary after she finished the story. But I became ashamed for crying and I turned to the wall and cried. After wiping my tears away, I turned back pretending nothing was wrong..

Crying makes me feel ashamed. Even writing this kind of makes me ashamed. But when I think about it, I cry alot. Crying helps me release all the scares and pains that I have. I cry spontaneously sometimes, because every time I cry, no matter how ashamed I feel about crying, afterwards, I feel lighter. Lifted. More carefree.

I cry for a lot of things. Sometimes I cry when I see victims of war. I mean most of the times. I hate it when people have to die. That also makes me cry. Or when I see little innocent babies suffering. It kills my heart and I start tearing. Like that picture of a big Chinese baby, crying alone infront of the ruins of a train station after the Japanese bombed Beijing. I saw that picture in the library during study hall last friday. I silently wept cursing the evil that man was capable of doing.

But after I cry. I feel good. That’s why I cry. Its the very least I can do, to feel their pain, as brief as it may be, sympathize, and cry. It’s strange, because to people I know, people that I ought to be more concerned than strangers in pictures, I rarely attach any real feelings..


the entry goes on, but i go out of focus and delve into another matter. so for now, this is it.

be nice people. like i said earlier, i dont particularly enjoy sharing about myself to friends, let alone strangers through the internet. but i hope many of you will now feel more comfortable to share a thing or two about yourselves, now that there is a presidence.

and when you reply, remember, i can strike people with lightening bolts from high above. maybe not in real life, but atleast in these forums.. no that was not a threat, im only joking. you may say anything you want.


Posted by KeN VeRsUs RyU on 01-24-2003 07:51 AM:

u didnt cry when i raped you.

__________________

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Posted by micron on 01-26-2003 03:59 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by KeN VeRsUs RyU
u didnt cry when i raped you.

ah, that.. i can handle like a man.


Posted by noriko378 on 01-26-2003 05:48 AM:

well, I've never found anything wrong with seeing anyone cry...whether it be male or female...you're absolutely right. It's a way to release emotion and is a heck of a lot better than going out and hurting yourself or worse...someone else.

I've always been an cryer myself....Heck~ I cried when I watched the Lion King and when Muffasa died!!! but I can relate to what you are saying.

I remember the first time I really sobbed was when I watched the Twin Towers go down....I cried because I never felt that much heartache and sadness before....I still get teary-eyed thinking about it right now....but that's besides the point.

No, there is nothing wrong with crying..and don't feel ashamed that you do....it shows your humanity which is something we need more of in this day in age......^^


Posted by MasWusHot on 01-26-2003 06:45 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by noriko378
I've always been an cryer myself....Heck~ I cried when I watched the Lion King and when Muffasa died!!! but I can relate to what you are saying.


me too man!! newayz...I cry a lot too~just listening to ur story had me all teary and emotional~its sweet u shared that~i dont have much privacy in my house so i cant ever keep journals although i think their a good idea..a good thing to get all ur feelings out in....the other day in school i just wanted to start crying for some reason...i think i was sad about my friend hes got me on "an emotional rollercoaster???" haha i dont kno ne other way to put it~and when i think about all the stuff he says..it makes me so sad and i want to cry...but i held my cryin back cuz everyone would be like whats wrong?!?! and id get all mad...grr now im all sad again lol haha i dont kno wat im sayin nemore so ill stop...

__________________
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its better to lose a lover, than to love a loser


Posted by BlazeCentury on 01-27-2003 09:23 AM:

i dunno... but i got teary in Lilo & Stitch for some reason...
i think something is wrong with me though... seriously.

i think im too emotional.
(BTW im 18yr old male.... yes... lets all laugh at me now)


Posted by MasWusHot on 01-27-2003 01:25 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by BlazeCentury
i dunno... but i got teary in Lilo & Stitch for some reason...
i think something is wrong with me though... seriously.

i think im too emotional.
(BTW im 18yr old male.... yes... lets all laugh at me now)


aww I dont think theres somethin wrong with that~! I never saw the movie so I dont kno how sad it was..but if u thought it was sad then by all means get all teary!! hehe thats wut I think~! And I wouldnt laugh id be like do u need a hug?! lol

__________________
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v48/xxkpopxx/bhgft.bmp"><br><br>
its better to lose a lover, than to love a loser


Posted by Ladi Jay on 01-27-2003 09:21 PM:

ah yes... finally, the mystery man of jsl finally opens up.... well, at least a little bit... that was very touching by the way... seriously... it was as if I was reading an article, not a diary... something a pro-writer would write... anyways, I felt what you were saying too... like, how it makes you feel lighter after you're crying... man, crying always works... it's makes you feel sad, yet you feel happy at the same time... crying always helps...

wait wait... was that jusun?

I dunno if any girls here remember, buh I remember starting a thread asking about jusun... like what he's like and stuffage... then I remember in the chat... some girl was asking who he was, how he looked like, etc etc... lol... yeah, uhm, anyways...


Posted by micron on 01-29-2003 02:25 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by MasWusHot
me too man!! newayz...I cry a lot too~just listening to ur story had me all teary and emotional~its sweet u shared that~i dont have much privacy in my house so i cant ever keep journals although i think their a good idea..a good thing to get all ur feelings out in....the other day in school i just wanted to start crying for some reason...i think i was sad about my friend hes got me on "an emotional rollercoaster???" haha i dont kno ne other way to put it~and when i think about all the stuff he says..it makes me so sad and i want to cry...but i held my cryin back cuz everyone would be like whats wrong?!?! and id get all mad...grr now im all sad again lol haha i dont kno wat im sayin nemore so ill stop...
you should start a journal in your computer like i do. in microsoft word. you can encrypt it with a password by: file menu -> save as.. -> tools -> security options.. -> and type in your password.



quote:
Originally posted by BlazeCentury
i dunno... but i got teary in Lilo & Stitch for some reason...
i think something is wrong with me though... seriously.

i think im too emotional.
(BTW im 18yr old male.... yes... lets all laugh at me now)

i got teary eyed when stitch cried out 'help me'.. all alone in the woods.. carrying the 'ugly ducking' book in his hand. i was really touched by that scene.

im also 18. male.



quote:
Originally posted by Ladi Jay
ah yes... finally, the mystery man of jsl finally opens up.... well, at least a little bit... that was very touching by the way... seriously... it was as if I was reading an article, not a diary... something a pro-writer would write...
ah you flatter me too much. thank you though i hardly think so.


Posted by tm11 on 01-29-2003 02:27 AM:

After the divorce of my parents, I've stayed with my dad mostly, straying from my own wish that my parents would have joint custody over me. I've felt closer to my dad since my parents separeted, and I also feel somewhat alienated with respect to my mom. I love my parents, but when I see something about a father and son, I find it hard to deal with as well.

__________________
word is bond


Posted by MasWusHot on 01-29-2003 03:51 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by jusunlee
you should start a journal in your computer like i do. in microsoft word. you can encrypt it with a password by: file menu -> save as.. -> tools -> security options.. -> and type in your password.


oh thanx~!! earlier today I started somethin like a journal on the computer but i was hesitating on whether or not to save it because i didnt want neone to go in and read it haha so that helped~!!

__________________
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its better to lose a lover, than to love a loser


Posted by requiem on 01-30-2003 12:32 AM:

Edit: removed because no one appreciated it

__________________
When the day is done
you are all that is left


Posted by Ladi Jay on 01-30-2003 12:52 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by tm11
After the divorce of my parents, I've stayed with my dad mostly, straying from my own wish that my parents would have joint custody over me. I've felt closer to my dad since my parents separeted, and I also feel somewhat alienated with respect to my mom. I love my parents, but when I see something about a father and son, I find it hard to deal with as well.



your point of view on divorced couples sounds kinda like my view... someone who understands, yes!


Posted by aznkid1008 on 01-30-2003 10:58 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by requiem
For the record...Jusun wears huge pants.
Whether that's out of style or necessity I cannot say. Only he knows for sure...


?? and that has wat to do wit wat we r talkin about? maybe im just dumb but i cant make a connection so plz tell. well as i ponder on that jusun knows that im not a cryer and for example the twin towers fallin just pissed me off. i used 2 get mad fairly easily and lately cause of pressure from alot of things. but cryin i dunno it just doesnt seem like an option at the time. i cry but it just seems that alot of things just end up goin somehow 2 anger its weird.

__________________
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Remember the heros
Remember the lives
Remember the day
God bless


Posted by requiem on 02-01-2003 11:43 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by aznkid1008
?? and that has wat to do wit wat we r talkin about? maybe im just dumb but i cant make a connection so plz tell. well as i ponder on that jusun knows that im not a cryer and for example the twin towers fallin just pissed me off. i used 2 get mad fairly easily and lately cause of pressure from alot of things. but cryin i dunno it just doesnt seem like an option at the time. i cry but it just seems that alot of things just end up goin somehow 2 anger its weird.


I hate when my sexual innuendo goes unappreciated.
Truth be told, that has nothing to do with anything. I think that was my original intention though.

__________________
When the day is done
you are all that is left


Posted by Alchemist on 02-02-2003 10:14 PM:

At times I feel emotionally dead, I don't know what the cause of this is but I'll find out eventually.


Crying will help, it has something to do with chemicals in your body.



Jusun and everyone else, hang in there and stay strong. Crying is ok but don't do drugs, drugs are bad for you.


Posted by .aS.|5p!7f!|23 on 02-02-2003 10:32 PM:

i think that crying is the emotional alternitive to drugs. those who dont want to feel emotion and dont want to cry over things like divorce or death often turn to drugs to make them feel like they belong or make them feel happy. by crying , even over little things , your allowing yourself to feel and not get hung up on keeping your emotions inside. i know too many people who use things like a hard childhood or lack of acceptance as reasons to make it ok to use drugs. im gonna end this post now cause im totally off topic.


Posted by merdawg on 02-02-2003 10:51 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by .aS.|5p!7f!|23
i think that crying is the emotional alternitive to drugs. those who dont want to feel emotion and dont want to cry over things like divorce or death often turn to drugs to make them feel like they belong or make them feel happy. by crying , even over little things , your allowing yourself to feel and not get hung up on keeping your emotions inside. i know too many people who use things like a hard childhood or lack of acceptance as reasons to make it ok to use drugs. im gonna end this post now cause im totally off topic.


word

__________________


"Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable. " - Bruce Lee


Posted by ajy on 02-06-2003 02:52 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by requiem
For the record...Jusun wears huge pants.
Whether that's out of style or necessity I cannot say. Only he knows for sure...



well he does wear ufo's but what does that have to do with anything? i mean i'm the king of off the point/stupid ass/random comments, but i think i have to get over it

ive never really cried a lot in my life, in fact i cant remember the last time i cried. I think it was probably in 2001 when i dropped my guitar on my bare foot by accident, but thats physical. i honeslty cant remember the last time i was emotional. im not that type of person. you can say im desencitized because things like those pictures or images of things that set people off inside dont bother me. they dont even set off a trigger inside of myself to tell me i know i shouldnt be looking at this. and i think thats something i have that can be very positive in a awy, also negative because i know i should be feeling something inside but im really not.


Posted by daNNy LuV 1TYM on 02-26-2003 06:52 AM:

wow..good to know i'm not the only one...

i'm a big crier and it's so embarassing cuz sometimes tears will just well up and then people wil be like "what's wrong?" and then if i talk or move or anything the waterworks will really start...sometimes i wish i wasn't so sensitive...

movies and books always make me cry. lilo and stitch (me too!), hardball, legends of the fall (o gawd); where the red fern grows, gone with the wind, forbidden city...the list goes on.

i used to cry spontaneously a couple years ago because i felt really frustrated with life and just wanted everything and everyone to leave me alone. i've gotten happier since then so i don't feel that way as much anymore, but sometimes the weirdest things will move me to cry...like i heard about the rainforests being bulldozed away in Brazil and that made me so mad and sad that i started to cry...and whenever i think about the victimes of 9 11 or any war i get teary-eyed. i even cry wen i feel...not really bad, but moved...especially on retreats or something, or even when i hear really beautiful or poignant music. eh, i have weird chemicals in me :/


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