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-- The Golden Rules of AIM (https://www.jusunlee.com/forums/showthread.php?threadid=14551)

The Golden Rules of AIM

LOL
i especially like number 20

Introduction: You've seen the phenomenon. During the semester, at least 75% of your buddy list is online. Then winter break hits and your buddy list is hit by an apparent bubonic plague. Because IM is so popular among us college kids, it is befitting that we should set forth a list of rules, nay commandments, to abide by. So here, in no particular order, is the prevailing IM Dogma.

I. In your AIM profile, there's no need to throw in loads of advertising space about your girlfriend/boyfriend/horse. Granted, I may be a jaded, single fool, but when your profile looks like this:


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Baby, I love you. I love you. Oh baby I love you and miss you. See you soon. I love you. Baby, baby.
[Insert rows of nonsensical IM kissy-faces]
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It's just annoying and disturbing. A subtle message is fine, but if you use either MUAH or those god-awful AIM faces (more on those in a sec), then AOL should spike you and you should be forced to communicate your rampant I LOVE YOU's through smoke signals you utterly whipped prick. (And that goes for you dickwads with the "Taken" Buddy Icons. Go fuck yourself!)

II. Please stop with LOL. Only about .4% of people actually "Laugh out Loud" and they are retarded. And don't give me this ROTFLMAO (Rolling on the floor laughing my ass off). I'd actually like to see you try this just so you can snap your neck as you fall out of your chair. Good. Nothing to LOL about now, is there?

III. Don't IM just to say "HI." Talking on AIM is the fast food equivalent of actual conversations. Keep the messages short and sweet. I assure you, you are not that interesting of a person. And if you were, why I am I talking to you behind a keyboard and miles of bandwidth?

IV. You don't have to IM someone every time they are online. Nobody is that interesting. The average person spends more time wiping their ass than talking to their parents. No one can be conversational every time you IM them.

V. Stop with these oblique away messages like "Not here", "Away", "Gone", or using an AIM face. If you had to shit, fine. Tell us, we're concerned for your well being. And for the love of god don't use the default away message: "I am away from my computer right now." Don't you get disappointed when you see that?

VI. If you are talking on a cell phone with someone and IMing that person simultaneously, you deserve the impending radiation cancer.

VII. Don't ever send more than 5 messages in a row to someone. All that beeping could give someone a brain hemorrhage. It sounds like a damn Star Wars movie on my computer!

VIII. Stop using AIM faces. This is the lowest point of human interaction. It is more evolved to go to your friend's house and throw your own shit at their face.

IX. If someone sends you a link or a song to download, you are not obligated to ever visit that link or download that song. Making a suggestion is fine, but don't pester them about it for days to come. You are interrupting their porn time.

X. Blocking someone is about the cruelest thing you can do to them. Worse than murder. So if someone pisses you off, don't block them. Ignore them. Fill them with doubt as to whether you are still at your computer. Blocking is basically the Agent Orange of AIM abuse. Savagely cruel, use only when necessary.

XI. One "Bye" is all that is needed to end a convo. Too many convos drag on and on like the first hour of Pearl Harbor. They look a little like this:

Homo69: Ok man, later.
Buttfuk27: Yea, take it east.
Buttfuk27: easy*
Homo69: Yeah I will
Homo69: Later
Buttfuk27: Later, dude
Homo69: Goodnite
Buttfuk27: Oh hey
Homo69: Yeah?
Buttfuk27: Did you finish your paper?
Homo69: Yeah
Buttfuk27: Oh okay, cool
Homo69: ok, seeya later
Buttfuk27: Yep, bye
Homo69: Bye
Buttfuk27: Night


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Previous message was not received by Homo69 because of error: User Homo69 really left this time.
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XII. Don't try to describe your looks in your screen name. If your screen name is SexyGurl25, and you look like the love child of ALF and Carrot Top, that's false advertising. Besides, it really isn't nice to trick MegaStud21, who is actually a 40-year-old unemployed bald man that installed a webcam in your shower while you were at class.

XIII. Girls, it is not necessary to make your profiles look like the lost works of Emily Dickinson. A couple of clever lines is fine, but honestly, no one's turning to your profile as their daily source of sonnets.

XIV. Don't just type "yea" to your friend when you have nothing to say. I understand the flashing IM is intimidating, and a lot of people need to have the last word, but the "yea" is basically IM code for: "I have lost a lot of interest in this convo, and was kind of hoping we could just drift apart peacefully."

XV. No more than two numbers in your screen name. Three is okay, but only if it's to signal your birthday. It's already hard to remember what you decided to call yourself online, we really don't need the first 100 digits of pi. If your SN is: Queef67483857, just shorten it to Queef67. Or just Queef. I can't imagine too many people picking that one, it's too honest.

XVI. Don't type "BRB" then drive to Mexico. BRB has a 10 minute window. After that, it's away message time. AOL should install a feature that will automatically send gay porn to all your friends under your name once your comp is idle for 11 minutes after a BRB.

XVII. You can tell the mood a person is in by how much they type. Example:

PeeWee12: Hey, man.
Meat10: Yo, what's up, dude?
= Happy

PeeWee12: Hey, man
Meat10: Hey
= Melancholy

PeeWee12: Hey, man
Meat10: Go fuck yourself.
= Not happy.

XVIII. Don't put quizzes in your profile. What is the goal, exactly? To figure out who is your most prolific stalker?

XIV. If the Internet kicks you off, and then you sign back on, it is your duty to re-start the convo. I don't know why this is, but if the other person IM's you with "kicked off?" they are obsessed with you.

XX. If someone sends you one of those IM's that say you must IM 10 other people, in order to save a child dying of leukemia in Indonesia, drive to his house and beat him to death with his own keyboard. Then, take a deep breath, and go check your email.

__________________


http://www.mcjdragonz.com

http://www.dynamicvocalz.tk

http://www.streetmaderecordz.tk

ouch, i always have my 'away' sign on. it says: 'away.'

OMG!!!! WTF...ROFLMAO!!! LOL!!! LMAOOOOO!!!!

__________________
my.space

i almost forgot..
OYMASMD!!!!

remember marv? open your mouth and...

__________________
my.space

haha first of all...J-Dragonz..you're a genius. I agree with most of the stuff you're saying.

and blocking ISN'T cruel....it's fun heh.


and 2nd, Tony, Marv...ahhahaha OYMASMD

__________________


Shift_

"cuz no matter how long U've known them or how well U think U know them..the friendship can be over in a second" ~Indecisive

"you don't realize how much of a luxury cup holders are until you don't have em" ~Indecisive

mi chin nom..SMD [if i had one] -_-;;
no not really.

quote:

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Originally posted by joobaboya
mi chin nom..SMD [if i had one] -_-;;
no not really.

---

__________________


Shift_

"cuz no matter how long U've known them or how well U think U know them..the friendship can be over in a second" ~Indecisive

"you don't realize how much of a luxury cup holders are until you don't have em" ~Indecisive

aahahah funny stuff

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immagijibae: seons a hoeeeeeee, he wears them g-strings, and i also knowwwww, they hurt his dinga-lings~ la l alalala~ nanannan~ oh~ seons a hoeeeeee, he wears them g-strings..............
immagijibae: liiiiiiiiiiiiiike my new 1-minute-made-up song???????

lol thats funny ... i have broken the profile rules wit the sonnets and the bf stuff hahaha..a lot of it is funny tho cuz its true

__________________
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v48/xxkpopxx/bhgft.bmp"><br><br>
its better to lose a lover, than to love a loser

quote:

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Originally posted by indecisive
haha first of all...J-Dragonz..you're a genius. I agree with most of the stuff you're saying.

and blocking ISN'T cruel....it's fun heh.


and 2nd, Tony, Marv...ahhahaha OYMASMD

---

__________________
ni pour ni contre; ça m'est égal

"The weight of this sad time we must obey,/ Speak what we feel, not what we ought to say./ The oldest hath borne most; we that are young/ Shall never see so much, nor live so long."
King Lear (V.3.300-304)

quote:

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Originally posted by Crazydeb8ter
josh isn't the author.

---

__________________


Shift_

"cuz no matter how long U've known them or how well U think U know them..the friendship can be over in a second" ~Indecisive

"you don't realize how much of a luxury cup holders are until you don't have em" ~Indecisive

quote:

---

Originally posted by indecisive
hmm..well then I take it back...nice find though heh.

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__________________


http://www.mcjdragonz.com

http://www.dynamicvocalz.tk

http://www.streetmaderecordz.tk

quote:

---

Originally posted by tea
i almost forgot..
OYMASMD!!!!

remember marv? open your mouth and...

---

__________________
Long messages do not equal aggravation of any sort,
rather they reflect nothing more than a response of insight
that should always be read in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Those womyn that seek equality with men, lack determination."

"I beseech you, in the bowels of Christ, think it possible you may be wrong."
-Cromwell

HAHAHA

LOL LOL LOL
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
HOW IS EVERYONE DOING?

dammmm aim hattterzzz

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lol!!!! that was funny as helllll

__________________
³¡.

the only thing i really care about/get annoyed with is people saying brb, blankly. I do not mind it at all if they actually do come "right back," but when they say brb and just come back an hour later, i feel like i deserve an explanation as to why they left. it is like being stood up online.

and if you really are going to be gone for awhile, take the 5 seconds more it will take you to tell the person. One sentence is all it takes. BRB means something specific, it is not a pandemic tool to use for every parting.

Putting up an away message without saying anything when you are in midst of a conversation (as in actually talking, not when there has been a pause for awhile) is rude as well. As well as signing off in the middle of a conversation in the same way. If you were talking to someone face to face, would you walk away from them in teh midst of talking?

__________________
Long messages do not equal aggravation of any sort,
rather they reflect nothing more than a response of insight
that should always be read in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Those womyn that seek equality with men, lack determination."

"I beseech you, in the bowels of Christ, think it possible you may be wrong."
-Cromwell