zandd.com: It's Saturday night and it's quiet out for a change. No cars honking, no crazy people yelling out in the streets (it happens more than you think). The TV is on mute so I can give my full, undivided attention to this article. The month of February looms about. No, I am not expecting flowers or candy. Who needs that? I got that last year. No...wait, forget it, I didn't get that last year, either, but, as all angry lonely single people say, "Valentine's is just a marketing ploy to make more money for Hallmark," or whatever. That's enough reason for me. Or is that sweetest day? Yes well, there's too much hype on this month anyhow. I expect to spend the day with none other than my sister and whatever other single friends I can find.

My freshman year...ahh...I got all that - the flowers, the romantic dinner, the sweet nothings whispered in my ear. So what if the guy ended up being a tad possessive (it got to the point where I couldn't pour my own orange juice because it was too independent an act)? The next Valentine's, I had the dozen roses and the fancy dinner, but as the months progressed, I began to realize he had one too many feminine attributes. His voice was a few pitches higher than mine, his eyebrows were tweezed more often than mine, and even his shirts were tighter. ("I wish they made men's shirts tighter. Why can't they make them tighter?") Valentine's 1998: I was in Michigan with Sarah. We went to visit some friends over Valentine's weekend. On the actual day, she introduced me to one of her friends. We were all chilling at his apartment when Sarah made her graceful exit. ("I've got to get my wallet. I'll be right back.") I didn't see her for the majority of the night. We did what we had to do to break the ice. He suggested we smoke up, and I was so bored, I thought, "Why not?" I'm not big on the whole smoking up thing. I always seem to end up falling asleep, which did end up happening. Since it had been awhile since I last smoked, I was bouncing off the walls.

"I feel so weird. I have to do something. I think I have to exercise." I honestly meant jumping jacks or sit-ups. He misunderstood. He instead swooped me off to the bedroom and ended up being my boyfriend in the entirety of two months (well, long distance).

My last year Valentine's isn't even worth mentioning; it was that uneventful.

However, I'm not bitter. I have no reason to be. The situations are whack or the guys end up being whack, so I intend to steer clear of such messes for now. It is apparent that I haven't had much luck when it comes to the 14th day.

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