zandd.com: I bought some catnip for my kitten the other day. What is catnip? It's an herb. Why do cats like it? Because it gets them high. Yes, cats go crazy for the smell and then they eat some of it and get high. So now my kitten is running around my apartment jumping all over on stuff and going crazy.

Sometimes I turn up 1TYM really loud and I dance around my little apartment. My cat sits there and looks at me like I'm crazy. Then he eats some of his catnip and runs around me while I'm dancing.

Lately I've had this need to be spontaneous and wild and to run around acting like I were a teenager again. I guess this behavior is actually just my reaction to feeling "grown up." I know I'm young and I have many years ahead of me to grow up, but I feel the clock ticking. I find myself looking at life differently, looking at people differently, looking at my clothes, my speech, my attitude, my finances, all differently. I find myself not looking for "girlfriends" anymore, instead I find myself looking for a "wife." When I overhear people talking about 401K's and investment plans, my ears perk up.

I stopped by the local Toys R Us the other day and the intoxicating sensation of being surrounded by walls and walls of toys that I used to feel as a kid was gone. I stopped by a video arcade at the mall and I didn't know how to play most of the games and the rest were uninteresting.

I don't know why I'm so resistant to growing up. Most people want only to "grow up" when they are young, but I remember wanting to stay young forever. Time seems to go the slowest when you want it to fly by and when you want time to stand still, it inevitably zips along. It seems that all the years have gone by in a flash and now I'm faced with the prospect of "acting my age."

Medical school seems like an eternity when you first start, but our first year is over and after another year, we'll be on the wards taking care of patients. Medical school creates a contradiction of time. With test after test and so much information that we have to master, it seems that time is our enemy. It maliciously speeds up when we are trying to prepare for an exam. And yet it seems to drag whenever we feel the need to be out of school and enter "the real world" as physicians.

The latest interest of my kitty is the sink plug in my bathroom sink. He yanks it out and knocks it around the porcelain sink around and around. I wonder if my kitten will have an early midlife crisis like I seem to be having. I hear misery loves company. It'd be nice to have company.

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